Has Alabama Turned SEC Football Into Westworld?

I was going to write a preview of the College Football Playoff but I realized that was fruitless.

Alabama should overwhelm Washington. Ohio State and Clemson will be a classic matchup of strength on strength. Alabama will be a heavy favorite against either team in the championship. Voila. Those three sentences you'll hear verbatim and repeatedly on ESPN in the network's pregame coverage.

Instead, I need to take some time and focus on a more dystopian theory requiring a deep dive down the rabbit hole. It's a ludicrous premise on its surface. It's a potential reality we need to acknowledge for the sake of a conference that adamantly, yet somewhat creepily, claims collegiate sports just mean more to its institutions before it's too late for its most holy spectacle. Alabama football has been called the Death Star by many writers. I don't think that metaphor goes far enough, though. The Death Star was so poorly designed it got blown up. Multiple times. What do I believe Nick Saban has accomplished at Alabama?

I adamantly believe Nick Saban is the mastermind of a plan where he has built the SEC into his own entity in the model of the titular amusement park at the helm of HBO's new hit series, Westworld.

For those unfamiliar with the show, here's a synopsis. Thanks to technological advancements, an escape from the real world has been created in the form of an amusement park called Westworld. The park is inhabited by hosts, artificial intelligence beings with tremendous human-like behavior who all play a role in a larger picture. Wealthy, powerful humans are able to come into Westworld to live out their wildest fantasies in this replica of the wild west. Here's the thing, though. The hosts have no ability to fight back. The elite humans always win and get what they want. The park's creator is an old man who strives to make these stories increasingly compelling with a relentless pursuit of perfection, and the hosts are reprogrammed or thrown aside like scraps should they malfunction and go off script. For the sake of spoilers, I won't go into some of the deeper and darker themes of the show, but this should be enough to make my case.

In this analogy, Alabama's highly touted recruits and football players are the humans. Nick Saban plays the role of Dr. Robert Ford, creator of the park and mass manipulator of each and every host. The hosts in this case? The individuals who make up the thirteen other programs in the SEC.

Look at the current state of the SEC. Besides Alabama, this season was disastrous for the conference. No team besides the Crimson Tide will finish with double digit wins. The quarterbacks in the conference are wildly inconsistent and incompetent. Successful coaches have been replaced with Saban disciples struggling to replicate the results of their predecessors. Is Alabama's head coach really responsible for all this? Look at this list of events in the conference this year and decide for yourself:

-Georgia fires head coach Mark Richt. His almost annually double digit win totals obviously weren't enough. LSU fires head coach Les Miles. His almost annually double digit wins totals obviously weren't enough. Angered at the programs' desires to better challenge him, the replacements have results that inspire no confidence in an effort to inflict losing on the "humans"...

-Florida and LSU have athletes on defense to threaten the Crimson Tide's offense. However, the programs have Purdue transfers at the game's most important position. I wonder who is preventing the schools from recruiting competent players in the most crucial role on the field. Seems like a new and damning flaw in the code of these once championship caliber programs...

-Tennessee, thanks to miraculous comebacks in the second half, seems poised to usurp Florida, led by former Saban assistant Jim McIlwain, as SEC East champions. Knowing he needs a team to rush for zero yards in the SEC Championship game to finish a story declaring this iteration of the Tide as the sport's best ever, former Saban player Alvin Kamara convinces Jalen Hurd to leave the program sending the team into turmoil down the stretch guaranteeing a Gator appearance. Even Nick Saban needs a servant as loyal as Bernard Lowe...

-Johnny Manziel was responsible for one of the most exciting victories against the Crimson Tide in recent memory. Now, his life is falling apart. Is it really all self-inflicted or did Saban seek revenge and alter his attributes to make the former Heisman trophy winner go off the deep end...

-Texas A&M surprisingly showed up at #4 in the College Football Playoff rankings. The Aggies, though, fall apart losing to Ole Miss, Mississippi State, and LSU in November. Why? The core component of the Aggies' story is finishing with this record...

-Auburn looks lifeless for much of the season. Not wanting to destroy the collective conscience of a crucial group of hosts, he lets the Tigers turn it around with a vaunted ground game as the season goes on. But when it's time for the Iron Bowl, it's a huge break the team's star running back is injured...

-In September, Ole Miss quarterback Chad Kelly scores 42 points on the Crimson Tide in a hard fought defeat. Last year, he led the Rebels to a victory in Tuscaloosa. Why did his season end with a knee injury. I assume we'll never know for certain...

-Arkansas racks up 30 points against the best defense in college football history(?). Infuriated by the disrespect shown, Arkansas struggles with inconsistency the rest of the season and blows massive halftime leads in the final two games of the season. A star player gets caught shoplifting at the namesake store for the Razorbacks' bowl game adding further insult to reputation. A coincidence? I think not...

-Mississippi State, high on pride for the success of Dak Prescott, seems poised to get a boost in recruiting. After a 6-7 season, though, the likelihood of that seems far fetched now. Unable to control the NFL, Saban takes the proper measure in his world to keep a possible threat as a constant loser...

-Poor Vanderbilt finally seems to be figuring out how to form a respectable football team. However, a big time job in the Big Ten opens up. Instead of staying around Nashville, James Franklin heads to Penn State where he wins the conference this year. Awfully convenient such a sharp football mind left the team for greener pastures...

Spooky, right? I could go on with more evidence, but I'd like you to encourage you to do some of your own.

Alabama's rise to a juggernaut has coincided with a return to mediocrity- or worse- by other teams in the conference during Saban's tenure. The former is directly the results of his efforts. The evidence for the latter is piling up to a level it makes me believe he's simultaneously architecting the respective demises of football programs across the Southeastern United States.

Nick Saban has created a conference full of violent delights for his team. There's no indication at all violent ends await the Crimson Tide any time soon.

J. Nave

Please March With Them, Columbus

During my lifetime, besides the messianic performances of LeBron James, there's always been a mixture of ineptitude and heartbreak associated with the expectations and results of the Buckeye State's professional sports teams.

Times may be finally changing. The Cavaliers, thanks to a trio of masterpieces by The King, vanquished the Warriors in June to bring a title to Cleveland. The Indians rode Corey Kluber and Andrew Miller within striking distance of a World Series victory against the best team in baseball. The Bengals had been stringing together winning seasons until injuries decimated their chances this fall. The Browns and Reds are--- eagerly preparing for the ever promising possibilities of next year?

The oft forgotten crown jewel of under delivering on the faintest sign of promise, however, is currently turning the tide, too. With only two playoff wins to their name in fifteen seasons, the Columbus Blue Jackets have historically encountered two problems. First, rosters comprised of a fatal mix of disinterested and untalented players continually result in disappointing records and no semblance of culture. Secondly, they have long failed to register on the radar of Central Ohioans conditioned to only respond to scarlet and gray.

It's one thing to simply construct a competitive team. After many unsuccessful tries, though, this front office seems to have done it. In goal, netminder Sergei Bobrovsky is finally healthy and riding a boost in confidence from the summer to high ranks in nearly every statistical category. The blue line, usually the team's most glaring weakness, is anchored by savvy youngsters in Zach Werenski and Seth Jones who are playing with an ebullient confidence allowing all three pairings to excel. Up front, the group's stalwart captain (Nick Foligno), breakout stars (Cam Atkinson and Alexander Wennberg), Stanley Cup winner (Brandon Saad), grizzled veterans (Brandon Dubinsky and Scott Hartnell), and grit extraordinaire (Matt Calvert) are embodying a fast and physical style of play flummoxing the rest of the NHL en route to 12 straight wins. Some notable stats to illustrate the performance thus far:

Record: 23-5-4 (1st)
Power Play Conversion: 27% (1st)
Goals Differential: +45 (1st)
Goals Allowed: 64 (2nd)

Barring a rash of injuries, this flurry of dominance should only slightly falter. Any bunch that racks up 50 points before Christmas is a bonafide contender. Most fun to watch is the fact every player suits up each night with energy and passion for the franchise. The locker room is full of guys who weren't around to be the butt of hockey jokes, and that youthful ignorance should be treasured. During the tenures of past stars, this wasn't the case and the toxicity destroyed the team. As long as this refreshing attitude pervades through the rest of the season, I will be thrilled and maintain an optimistic outlook through any droughts or struggles a tough second half schedule might or might not bring. Now, as for the second and far more difficult challenge...

To understand the nuanced difficulty of battling the Goliath that is The Ohio State University's football team for coverage and caring, look no further than the franchise's marketing campaigns over its existence. Some early iterations (Gotta See It Live and Jackets Time) begged fans to come check out the sport, the arena, and the team. Others (All Out, All Season and Ignite the Night) encouraged fans to keep coming back and step up in game participation. The most clever branding covered the first two bases and paid homage to the team's Civil War namesake (Join the Battle and Carry the Flag). The team acknowledged the fact its hometown was so fixated on one sports team year round it realized it essentially had to plead for fans to give them a chance. The only problem is when you're not winning you create an extremely limited appeal. Even this season, the Jackets rank 27th in the league in attendance.

The current version, March With Us, isn't anything revolutionary. The formula was replicated once again when this branding was revealed in August 2015. Yet for the first time, the previously implicit invitation for the fans to take up arms alongside the team is now bluntly stated. This seems like a minor wrinkle at first glance, but when you look at what the Jackets aimed for when the phrase launched, a larger goal reveals itself:

"THE VERY DEFINITION OF “MARCH” IS: TO ADVANCE IN STEP IN AN ORGANIZED BODY, TO WALK IN A STATELY, DELIBERATE MANNER, TO GO FORWARD, TO ADVANCE. “MARCH WITH US” IS JUST THAT. A CALL TO ARMS FOR A TEAM, ITS FANS, ITS CITY AND STATE TO MOVE FORWARD TOGETHER - HEARTS AND MINDS IN STEP, EXCITED ABOUT THE FUTURE, MARCHING TOWARDS SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY. WHETHER THOSE GOALS ARE ACHIEVED BY LITERALLY PUTTING PUCKS IN THE NET WHILE IN PURSUIT OF LORD STANLEY’S CUP, JOINING FORCES TO SUPPORT THE HEALTH AND WELLNESS OF OUR YOUTH, OR IMPROVING THE QUALITY OF LIFE FOR OUR RESIDENTS, WE WILL GO FORWARD AS ONE. BOTH ON AND OFF THE ICE, FIGHTING AND MARCHING TOGETHER."

A promise of a better tomorrow than the current today? Familiar for the sports fans in this state. An expressed desire to win a championship? The ultimate endgame in any sport. A plan to become ingrained in all aspects of the community and paint union blue across Ohio State's city? Objectively lofty and unprecedented. 

Deliberate efforts seem to slowly and surely be doing just that, though. It's being fostered through more and more partnerships with companies headquartered in the 614 to increase visibility and a social media presence unmatched and likely envied by many other franchises across sports. The team sets up their own outdoor ice rink annually in an effort to lure fans downtown. Affordable ticket deals for the thousands of students who flock to the campuses around Columbus exist for every home game. Further investment and growth in the Arena District has turned pre and post game festivities into their own destination. 

Once this legwork gets people in the arena, it's no wonder they willingly take up arms alongside the 5th Line. Hockey games are simply fun to go to, and any and all downtime during television and intermission breaks is full of energetic and often hilarious entertainment. Anybody who is familiar with the song We Like Pizza knows exactly what I'm talking about. Chatter about the experience in Nationwide Arena is always positive, even more so in the midst of such a historic run in a "we can't act like we've been here, we've never been here before" position for the team. 

While all these factors are great and meaningful, it's ultimately true winning cures all ails. This winning streak is why coverage of Ohio State's quest for a second national title in three years has virtually taken a backseat in the local media. It's why the last two home games have been sellouts. It's why posts and photos of my friends at game are pridefully showing up in abundance online. It's why an increasing number of households are tuning into each game on television. But this run will end soon enough. 

Please don't let that dampen your enthusiasm for Columbus' lone major professional sports team. Please don't let that prevent you from asking the bartender to turn on a regular season game in February. Please don't let that motivate you to unsubscribe from score alerts, unfollow the team on Twitter, or sell tickets to a game you get as a Christmas present.

Please March With Them, Columbus. The Blue Jackets finally deserve it. 

J. Nave 

Is Senior Year of College Fun?

Unintentionally and regrettably it's been almost two months since I last posted anything on this blog.

That fact may just be the perfect metaphor for the title of this post, though. 

Since the middle of October, I've been engulfed by a quarter life crisis of sorts brought on by job applications, phone interviews, and "business trips" all in the idea of setting in motion the next chapter of my life. I'm gracious for all these opportunities afforded to me by my school, and it's been an honor being able to join the elite fraternity of businessmen and businesswomen who confidently purchase and consume an overpriced alcoholic beverage (or two) in airports before noon.

But this quest has come with the opportunity cost of losing valuable and precious time as a college student. Maybe the loss was just a Thursday night's plans. It could have been an intramural playoff game where your lack of presence on the court actually spurred a winning performance from your team the next week. It almost always consisted of missing a finance lecture which should have- but not always necessarily did- required missing out on another day's adventure in an attempt to understand interest rates. I understand the necessity of this cycle in the circle of life, but it's hard to not let this FOMO additionally morph into:

1) Agonizing about every moment you said no to an opportunity during the previous three years 

2) Pleading for a chance to go back to the laissez fair attitude you should have employed more as an underclassman. 

Again, this isn't to say doing these interviews has been a waste of my time. One offered me the chance to reconnect with a friend from high school. Another the ability to explore the live music scene on Broadway in Nashville. I'll get to see the redwoods in the Pacific Northwest for the first time here next week. I eagerly await to hear back about my application to be the Offensive Coordinator for a Big Ten football program. Simply getting an invitation to do an interview validates every ounce of work put in over my college career as worthwhile. However, when juxtaposed with the college search of only a few years prior, it's hard to feel quite as romantic about the whole ordeal. 

Why? That feeling you hear all about of just knowing you found your home when you step on campus gets a little harder to identify when monotonous columns of fluorescent lights and identical rows of cubicles are independent variables from site to site. Hearing about your 401K and health insurance benefits pales in comparison to discovering the partnerships for study abroad trips different universities have across the globe. Having to reassure your friends you've made over your time in college their own quests will have a happy ending if they are off to a slower start is much more difficult this time around when they start expressing fears of being lapped by their peers. The one constant is every person you come into contact with on your "visits" will tell you how much they love it there which ends up being of little to no assistance at the end of the day. You get bogged down. You fall into a rut. 

Getting back to the titular question, the case I've laid about against senior year being fun indicates the answer is an overwhelming no, right? There have definitely been some moments where I would wholeheartedly be in agreement. Yet in the grand scheme of things, I think that answer is a total cop out. 

In this odd, transitional semester, I've tried to register and appreciate all the small things that make the college experience what it is more intentionally. That's why I thought a blog post about this was long overdue and an ideal manifestation of this thought process. Football games, the opportunity to meet astounding new people every day, cheap pizzas and beer pitchers, free t-shirts, and a whole host of other benefits aren't being take for granted or forgotten, because only when their days are numbered, will you begin to realize how much you'll miss them when they're gone. I've tried to remind myself to not dread a walk across campus, even in the rain, because it will be much easier evading puddles than car payments come next year. I've tried to get involved with things I failed to take advantage of earlier and diversify my time to reinvest in the people and things that have given me the most. Having a mindset to diligently replace every moan, gripe, and complaint with conversation, fun, and spontaneity has made this year a blast so far.

Senior year has taken on its own distinct identity, and perhaps that's why for brief lapses it's foreign nature bred some xenophobia and dread. But what year of college (or life in general) doesn't take on a life of its own? Don't let the bulls of the real world run you over because they are inevitably breathing down your neck- whether you pay attention to them or not. Run with them and enjoy the journey more than stressing about the destination. It's a lot more fun that way.

Plus, it's probably the only way to deal with the crippling nostalgia...

J. Nave