Rounding third and heading for home with my college career, I've found myself caught in a pickle of late. Thankfully, I managed to not fail any of my classes so I can rest easy knowing I won't be getting tagged out and stopped from graduating per se. At the same time, though, the host of emotions running the gamut have made these last ninety feet more draining than I originally expected.
Acknowledging the inevitably of all the "lasts" I'd encounter seemed helpful in theory back in the fall, but in actuality, it provided little to no emotional armor when the time came. Perhaps even more difficult are the "firsts" and realizing the quest to cross those last few items off the bucket list is the cruelest reminder the journey really should be cherished more than the destination.
The one constant I've noticed through these experiences (both the highs and lows) is tears. In some instances, lots and lots of tears.
However, there has been far too often an accompaniment to the crying I've witnessed. There's more variety to this arrangement, but it can take the form of a winding apology. An awkward explanation. A desperate justification. A wild rationalization. There's always a little embarrassment baked in, too. I've desperately racked my brain trying to understand this cause and effect relationship, but I keep circling back to the beginning of my search and a simple question: Why are people so ashamed of crying?
Seriously, look at every time you've ever cried in front of someone. At the core of whatever contributed to the crying, do you not arrive back at one of those two reasons?
Now, assuming you agree with that hypothesis to some extent, why did the second stage ever develop? At this point, I don't think there's any argument to be made it doesn't exist. Whether in the form of a viral tweet or an off the cuff remark, I see a discomfort or anxiety being around a crier expressed all the time.
So once again, where did this come from? Do we feel a need to say sorry for putting those around us through these encounters because enough people label them awkward? Did those two rationales for crying lose their legitimacy? Are we no longer empathetic with those struggling with feelings and situations we personally battle all the time?
To be honest, I'm not entirely sure the culprit for this trend. I'd imagine social media plays a role. Somehow, it has become commonplace for only our happiest moments or angriest rants to be at the center of a vast majority of our online content. Hell, when posts on its site venture over to more depressing material, Facebook now lets us react with an appropriate emoji and scroll along to the next part of our day without any second thoughts.
Regardless of the factors, including whatever may be most to blame, I hope it changes. I can't ever imagine the world being a place where excess empathy is a bad thing. Right now, the only place where crying is enjoyed is memes. Plus, for a generation in love with creating and wanderlust and serendipity and telling our stories and television quotes about appreciating life, isn't it just a bit hypocritical to avoid stomaching, or perhaps more depressingly accurate loathing, the things in life that make us lose our emotional composure?
Cry when you reach what you thought was going to be an impossible goal with an incredible group of people without feeling the need to apologize to anyone. Cry when your basketball team makes you believe in fairy tales again for a brief moment in time. Cry when you finish that last drink courtesy of your favorite bartender at your favorite bar and tell the freshman laughing at you he'll be there someday sooner than he can imagine. Cry when you leave a place that became home for four years without embarrassment.
Cry so crying can be normalized again.
J. Nave
