1) The Super Bowl happens to match up the two NFL teams from the two states that have legalized the recreational use of marijuana. Coincidence? I think not! Michael Phelps got caught smoking, and now he's the most decorated Olympian of all time. Is that one example enough to prove that weed makes you become better at sports? Yes, so let's move on... Anyways, if marijuana was still illegal, neither team would have made it to the Super Bowl. Don't believe me? Peyton Manning would have never been able to recover from another neck surgery and play the greatest season at the quarterback position of all time if it wasn't for a little film session ganja. Richard Sherman is already a lunatic on the football field. Can you imagine if he didn't have his pregame hits to calm him down? Everybody knows Marshawn Lynch eats Skittles when he scores, but do you know why? He needs his sugary munchies of course! To end the importance of marijuana in the Super Bowl before every one of my readers is convinced I'm a stoner, we will end with a corny marijuana joke:
Every pothead in Washington and Colorado to his friends this Sunday: That might be THE Super Bowl, but this right here is sure a super bowl (Cue maniacal laughing for five minutes)
Advantage: Seahawks... Lynch and Sherman need the weed more than Manning (Disclaimer- No idea if any of them smoke weed, but just for fun, we're going to act like my assumptions are right).
2) Super Bowl commercials make the game for those not interested in the battle on the gridiron. Well, I've got news for you. Budweiser has already claimed the best ad thanks to their Puppy Love, or Best Buds, commercial (Watch The Video Here). Please tell me how you top that? One, Budweiser uses its iconic Clydesdales once again, a Super Bowl tradition on the same level as hot wings and nachos. Then, there's that adorable puppy playing with said Clydesdales; The cuteness is unreal! When you add Passenger's "Let Her Go" in the background it just becomes perfection. Seriously, nobody markets better than Budweiser, and they hit it out of the park again. There will be funny commercials, stupid commercials, bizarre commercials, and heartfelt commercials, but I don't see this one being beat. Taco Bell commercials might make a killing in Washington and Colorado to suffice that late night/fourth meal craving (Couldn't resist another weed joke), but best commercial goes to Budweiser hands down.
Advantage: Broncos... Colorado is famous for Coors Light, a beer company, which Budweiser is. I know that logic makes no sense since the two are rivals, but it's my blog, and what I say goes. Plus, the Seattle brewery scene probably consists of only hipster microbreweries because what sounds more Seattle than a hipster microbrewery... Oh never mind, a hipster coffee shop definitely sounds more Seattle.
3) "Peyton Manning struggles in the cold. Health issues, age, and declining arm strength make him play his worst when the temperature is below freezing", or a variation of that phrase, has been, and will continue to be, uttered thousands of times this week. It's no secret that New York, New York isn't the place to go to escape winter, but for some reason, the NFL thought it would be a good idea to play a Super Bowl outdoors in a cold weather climate. This idea makes absolutely zero sense. First off, the players should be awarded with top notch playing conditions if they're going to sacrifice their bodies day in, day out for more than half of the year. They will not be getting that in MetLife Stadium. Fans should not pay thousands of dollars to watch this game and then be forced to sit outside in horrible weather. Most importantly, Bruno Mars should not have to risk a bad hair day performing in these conditions. It's inhumane, Roger Goodell!
Advantage: Seahawks... Seattle has worse weather than Denver. They'll be slightly more acclimated to the conditions
4) As mentioned a few times already, Bruno Mars will be performing during the halftime show this year. He threw a "Grenade" into the mix when he announced the Red Hot Chili Peppers would be performing with him. That combination? Not really sure what to think. I don't personally think the combination is going to equal "Treasure". Honestly, I hope Bruno opts for his more upbeat songs, so he doesn't seem like he's just "Talking to the Moon." Bruno, I like you "Just the Way You Are", but singing a bunch of ballads isn't appropriate for a sporting event like the Super Bowl. It's okay if you ask Erin Andrews to "Marry You" before, during, or after one of your numbers, but don't sing too many sad songs, or football and music fans will want you "Locked Out of Heaven". Oh, and sing "The Lazy Song". I like that one.
Advantage: Broncos... If Macklemore and Ryan Lewis would have been performing, Seattle would already be holding the Lombardi Trophy. They've already won four Grammys and performed at 30+ weddings this week. What have you done with your life? Seattle has launched a lot of great bands, but since none of them were ultimately selected, I have to give the advantage to Denver. Don't know of nearly as many bands out of Denver, but John Denver wrote some catchy tunes.
5) American education is lagging behind our foreign competitors, so any time I can watch football and simultaneously get more intelligent, I'm impressed. Why is that relevant in the Super Bowl? Geography, of course! Omaha, Nebraska might be a simple city in middle America, but thanks to Peyton Manning (Oh, and Doug McDermott, since this is supposed to be a college basketball blog after all), everybody is paying attention to these Nebraskans nowadays. A city best known for Warren Buffett and the College World Series, Peyton Manning has turned "Omaha! Omaha!" into America's favorite little city. I don't see Russell Wilson making Des Moines, Iowa into a famous town or drinking game.
Advantage: Broncos. Not only is Peyton Manning putting on a clinic for how to play the quarterback position, he has taught millions of Americans the importance of the American heartland- And he deserves kudos for that.
6) Uniforms are always a good way to logically pick a game, right? Let's look into these two teams. Seattle's color scheme is navy blue and neon green. Denver's color scheme is navy blue and orange. Seattle has one of my personal favorite helmets in the league and did the smart thing by letting Nike actually make some monumental changes to the uniforms a couple years back. Denver has sharp uniforms, too, but they're not as good. The orange is just too much, and teams that wear orange don't win important football games where I live (Unless they're playing Ohio State, another team that can't win a big game).
Advantage: Seahawks. In the City that Never Sleeps, you've got to have a flashy, yet crisp, style to stand out. Seattle's uniforms do that. Denver's do not.
7) We're all tied up, so we're gonna have to go to the intangibles to see who ultimately wins Super Bowl XLIII. Chipotle is headquartered in Denver, Colorado. Starbucks is headquartered in Seattle, Washington. Denver has no famous landmarks that come to mind. Seattle has the Space Needle. Denver plays in Sports Authority Field at Mile High Stadium. Seattle plays in CenturyLink Field in front of the 12th man, one of the best home field advantages in sports. A Bronco is a cool horse. A Seahawk seems like a cool bird. Denver's coach checked himself into the hospital this season as Johnny Drama. Seattle's coach liked inviting Will Ferrell to practices when he coached at the other USC. Denver is a state capitol. Seattle isn't a state capital (Olympia is the capital of Washington for those of you aspiring to be Jeopardy! contestants one day). Denver has other professional sports teams in all the major sports. Seattle only has a baseball team left. Denver has no famous market or spot that comes to mind when I recall dates on The Bachelor. Seattle has a market where you can catch and throw fish that's been feature on The Bachelor.
Advantage: Broncos. As a connoisseur of fans and athletic venues, I love Seattle's 12th man. However, I'm not a basic white girl, so the Starbucks has no sway on me. The Space Needle is a cool building, and even though Carroll knows some A-listers, I really don't like him at all. Ultimately, Denver takes the nod and is my pick to win the Super Bowl because the city started Chipotle and John Fox checked himself into the hospital as Johnny Drama (Mark Wahlberg owes Fox big time. I can't think of a better way to generate more hype for the Entourage movie than this publicity stunt). That's why it will be VICTORY for Peyton Manning and Co. this Sunday.
Broncos-21 Seahawks-20
J. Nave
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