Has Alabama Turned SEC Football Into Westworld?

I was going to write a preview of the College Football Playoff but I realized that was fruitless.

Alabama should overwhelm Washington. Ohio State and Clemson will be a classic matchup of strength on strength. Alabama will be a heavy favorite against either team in the championship. Voila. Those three sentences you'll hear verbatim and repeatedly on ESPN in the network's pregame coverage.

Instead, I need to take some time and focus on a more dystopian theory requiring a deep dive down the rabbit hole. It's a ludicrous premise on its surface. It's a potential reality we need to acknowledge for the sake of a conference that adamantly, yet somewhat creepily, claims collegiate sports just mean more to its institutions before it's too late for its most holy spectacle. Alabama football has been called the Death Star by many writers. I don't think that metaphor goes far enough, though. The Death Star was so poorly designed it got blown up. Multiple times. What do I believe Nick Saban has accomplished at Alabama?

I adamantly believe Nick Saban is the mastermind of a plan where he has built the SEC into his own entity in the model of the titular amusement park at the helm of HBO's new hit series, Westworld.

For those unfamiliar with the show, here's a synopsis. Thanks to technological advancements, an escape from the real world has been created in the form of an amusement park called Westworld. The park is inhabited by hosts, artificial intelligence beings with tremendous human-like behavior who all play a role in a larger picture. Wealthy, powerful humans are able to come into Westworld to live out their wildest fantasies in this replica of the wild west. Here's the thing, though. The hosts have no ability to fight back. The elite humans always win and get what they want. The park's creator is an old man who strives to make these stories increasingly compelling with a relentless pursuit of perfection, and the hosts are reprogrammed or thrown aside like scraps should they malfunction and go off script. For the sake of spoilers, I won't go into some of the deeper and darker themes of the show, but this should be enough to make my case.

In this analogy, Alabama's highly touted recruits and football players are the humans. Nick Saban plays the role of Dr. Robert Ford, creator of the park and mass manipulator of each and every host. The hosts in this case? The individuals who make up the thirteen other programs in the SEC.

Look at the current state of the SEC. Besides Alabama, this season was disastrous for the conference. No team besides the Crimson Tide will finish with double digit wins. The quarterbacks in the conference are wildly inconsistent and incompetent. Successful coaches have been replaced with Saban disciples struggling to replicate the results of their predecessors. Is Alabama's head coach really responsible for all this? Look at this list of events in the conference this year and decide for yourself:

-Georgia fires head coach Mark Richt. His almost annually double digit win totals obviously weren't enough. LSU fires head coach Les Miles. His almost annually double digit wins totals obviously weren't enough. Angered at the programs' desires to better challenge him, the replacements have results that inspire no confidence in an effort to inflict losing on the "humans"...

-Florida and LSU have athletes on defense to threaten the Crimson Tide's offense. However, the programs have Purdue transfers at the game's most important position. I wonder who is preventing the schools from recruiting competent players in the most crucial role on the field. Seems like a new and damning flaw in the code of these once championship caliber programs...

-Tennessee, thanks to miraculous comebacks in the second half, seems poised to usurp Florida, led by former Saban assistant Jim McIlwain, as SEC East champions. Knowing he needs a team to rush for zero yards in the SEC Championship game to finish a story declaring this iteration of the Tide as the sport's best ever, former Saban player Alvin Kamara convinces Jalen Hurd to leave the program sending the team into turmoil down the stretch guaranteeing a Gator appearance. Even Nick Saban needs a servant as loyal as Bernard Lowe...

-Johnny Manziel was responsible for one of the most exciting victories against the Crimson Tide in recent memory. Now, his life is falling apart. Is it really all self-inflicted or did Saban seek revenge and alter his attributes to make the former Heisman trophy winner go off the deep end...

-Texas A&M surprisingly showed up at #4 in the College Football Playoff rankings. The Aggies, though, fall apart losing to Ole Miss, Mississippi State, and LSU in November. Why? The core component of the Aggies' story is finishing with this record...

-Auburn looks lifeless for much of the season. Not wanting to destroy the collective conscience of a crucial group of hosts, he lets the Tigers turn it around with a vaunted ground game as the season goes on. But when it's time for the Iron Bowl, it's a huge break the team's star running back is injured...

-In September, Ole Miss quarterback Chad Kelly scores 42 points on the Crimson Tide in a hard fought defeat. Last year, he led the Rebels to a victory in Tuscaloosa. Why did his season end with a knee injury. I assume we'll never know for certain...

-Arkansas racks up 30 points against the best defense in college football history(?). Infuriated by the disrespect shown, Arkansas struggles with inconsistency the rest of the season and blows massive halftime leads in the final two games of the season. A star player gets caught shoplifting at the namesake store for the Razorbacks' bowl game adding further insult to reputation. A coincidence? I think not...

-Mississippi State, high on pride for the success of Dak Prescott, seems poised to get a boost in recruiting. After a 6-7 season, though, the likelihood of that seems far fetched now. Unable to control the NFL, Saban takes the proper measure in his world to keep a possible threat as a constant loser...

-Poor Vanderbilt finally seems to be figuring out how to form a respectable football team. However, a big time job in the Big Ten opens up. Instead of staying around Nashville, James Franklin heads to Penn State where he wins the conference this year. Awfully convenient such a sharp football mind left the team for greener pastures...

Spooky, right? I could go on with more evidence, but I'd like you to encourage you to do some of your own.

Alabama's rise to a juggernaut has coincided with a return to mediocrity- or worse- by other teams in the conference during Saban's tenure. The former is directly the results of his efforts. The evidence for the latter is piling up to a level it makes me believe he's simultaneously architecting the respective demises of football programs across the Southeastern United States.

Nick Saban has created a conference full of violent delights for his team. There's no indication at all violent ends await the Crimson Tide any time soon.

J. Nave

Please March With Them, Columbus

During my lifetime, besides the messianic performances of LeBron James, there's always been a mixture of ineptitude and heartbreak associated with the expectations and results of the Buckeye State's professional sports teams.

Times may be finally changing. The Cavaliers, thanks to a trio of masterpieces by The King, vanquished the Warriors in June to bring a title to Cleveland. The Indians rode Corey Kluber and Andrew Miller within striking distance of a World Series victory against the best team in baseball. The Bengals had been stringing together winning seasons until injuries decimated their chances this fall. The Browns and Reds are--- eagerly preparing for the ever promising possibilities of next year?

The oft forgotten crown jewel of under delivering on the faintest sign of promise, however, is currently turning the tide, too. With only two playoff wins to their name in fifteen seasons, the Columbus Blue Jackets have historically encountered two problems. First, rosters comprised of a fatal mix of disinterested and untalented players continually result in disappointing records and no semblance of culture. Secondly, they have long failed to register on the radar of Central Ohioans conditioned to only respond to scarlet and gray.

It's one thing to simply construct a competitive team. After many unsuccessful tries, though, this front office seems to have done it. In goal, netminder Sergei Bobrovsky is finally healthy and riding a boost in confidence from the summer to high ranks in nearly every statistical category. The blue line, usually the team's most glaring weakness, is anchored by savvy youngsters in Zach Werenski and Seth Jones who are playing with an ebullient confidence allowing all three pairings to excel. Up front, the group's stalwart captain (Nick Foligno), breakout stars (Cam Atkinson and Alexander Wennberg), Stanley Cup winner (Brandon Saad), grizzled veterans (Brandon Dubinsky and Scott Hartnell), and grit extraordinaire (Matt Calvert) are embodying a fast and physical style of play flummoxing the rest of the NHL en route to 12 straight wins. Some notable stats to illustrate the performance thus far:

Record: 23-5-4 (1st)
Power Play Conversion: 27% (1st)
Goals Differential: +45 (1st)
Goals Allowed: 64 (2nd)

Barring a rash of injuries, this flurry of dominance should only slightly falter. Any bunch that racks up 50 points before Christmas is a bonafide contender. Most fun to watch is the fact every player suits up each night with energy and passion for the franchise. The locker room is full of guys who weren't around to be the butt of hockey jokes, and that youthful ignorance should be treasured. During the tenures of past stars, this wasn't the case and the toxicity destroyed the team. As long as this refreshing attitude pervades through the rest of the season, I will be thrilled and maintain an optimistic outlook through any droughts or struggles a tough second half schedule might or might not bring. Now, as for the second and far more difficult challenge...

To understand the nuanced difficulty of battling the Goliath that is The Ohio State University's football team for coverage and caring, look no further than the franchise's marketing campaigns over its existence. Some early iterations (Gotta See It Live and Jackets Time) begged fans to come check out the sport, the arena, and the team. Others (All Out, All Season and Ignite the Night) encouraged fans to keep coming back and step up in game participation. The most clever branding covered the first two bases and paid homage to the team's Civil War namesake (Join the Battle and Carry the Flag). The team acknowledged the fact its hometown was so fixated on one sports team year round it realized it essentially had to plead for fans to give them a chance. The only problem is when you're not winning you create an extremely limited appeal. Even this season, the Jackets rank 27th in the league in attendance.

The current version, March With Us, isn't anything revolutionary. The formula was replicated once again when this branding was revealed in August 2015. Yet for the first time, the previously implicit invitation for the fans to take up arms alongside the team is now bluntly stated. This seems like a minor wrinkle at first glance, but when you look at what the Jackets aimed for when the phrase launched, a larger goal reveals itself:

"THE VERY DEFINITION OF “MARCH” IS: TO ADVANCE IN STEP IN AN ORGANIZED BODY, TO WALK IN A STATELY, DELIBERATE MANNER, TO GO FORWARD, TO ADVANCE. “MARCH WITH US” IS JUST THAT. A CALL TO ARMS FOR A TEAM, ITS FANS, ITS CITY AND STATE TO MOVE FORWARD TOGETHER - HEARTS AND MINDS IN STEP, EXCITED ABOUT THE FUTURE, MARCHING TOWARDS SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY. WHETHER THOSE GOALS ARE ACHIEVED BY LITERALLY PUTTING PUCKS IN THE NET WHILE IN PURSUIT OF LORD STANLEY’S CUP, JOINING FORCES TO SUPPORT THE HEALTH AND WELLNESS OF OUR YOUTH, OR IMPROVING THE QUALITY OF LIFE FOR OUR RESIDENTS, WE WILL GO FORWARD AS ONE. BOTH ON AND OFF THE ICE, FIGHTING AND MARCHING TOGETHER."

A promise of a better tomorrow than the current today? Familiar for the sports fans in this state. An expressed desire to win a championship? The ultimate endgame in any sport. A plan to become ingrained in all aspects of the community and paint union blue across Ohio State's city? Objectively lofty and unprecedented. 

Deliberate efforts seem to slowly and surely be doing just that, though. It's being fostered through more and more partnerships with companies headquartered in the 614 to increase visibility and a social media presence unmatched and likely envied by many other franchises across sports. The team sets up their own outdoor ice rink annually in an effort to lure fans downtown. Affordable ticket deals for the thousands of students who flock to the campuses around Columbus exist for every home game. Further investment and growth in the Arena District has turned pre and post game festivities into their own destination. 

Once this legwork gets people in the arena, it's no wonder they willingly take up arms alongside the 5th Line. Hockey games are simply fun to go to, and any and all downtime during television and intermission breaks is full of energetic and often hilarious entertainment. Anybody who is familiar with the song We Like Pizza knows exactly what I'm talking about. Chatter about the experience in Nationwide Arena is always positive, even more so in the midst of such a historic run in a "we can't act like we've been here, we've never been here before" position for the team. 

While all these factors are great and meaningful, it's ultimately true winning cures all ails. This winning streak is why coverage of Ohio State's quest for a second national title in three years has virtually taken a backseat in the local media. It's why the last two home games have been sellouts. It's why posts and photos of my friends at game are pridefully showing up in abundance online. It's why an increasing number of households are tuning into each game on television. But this run will end soon enough. 

Please don't let that dampen your enthusiasm for Columbus' lone major professional sports team. Please don't let that prevent you from asking the bartender to turn on a regular season game in February. Please don't let that motivate you to unsubscribe from score alerts, unfollow the team on Twitter, or sell tickets to a game you get as a Christmas present.

Please March With Them, Columbus. The Blue Jackets finally deserve it. 

J. Nave 

Is Senior Year of College Fun?

Unintentionally and regrettably it's been almost two months since I last posted anything on this blog.

That fact may just be the perfect metaphor for the title of this post, though. 

Since the middle of October, I've been engulfed by a quarter life crisis of sorts brought on by job applications, phone interviews, and "business trips" all in the idea of setting in motion the next chapter of my life. I'm gracious for all these opportunities afforded to me by my school, and it's been an honor being able to join the elite fraternity of businessmen and businesswomen who confidently purchase and consume an overpriced alcoholic beverage (or two) in airports before noon.

But this quest has come with the opportunity cost of losing valuable and precious time as a college student. Maybe the loss was just a Thursday night's plans. It could have been an intramural playoff game where your lack of presence on the court actually spurred a winning performance from your team the next week. It almost always consisted of missing a finance lecture which should have- but not always necessarily did- required missing out on another day's adventure in an attempt to understand interest rates. I understand the necessity of this cycle in the circle of life, but it's hard to not let this FOMO additionally morph into:

1) Agonizing about every moment you said no to an opportunity during the previous three years 

2) Pleading for a chance to go back to the laissez fair attitude you should have employed more as an underclassman. 

Again, this isn't to say doing these interviews has been a waste of my time. One offered me the chance to reconnect with a friend from high school. Another the ability to explore the live music scene on Broadway in Nashville. I'll get to see the redwoods in the Pacific Northwest for the first time here next week. I eagerly await to hear back about my application to be the Offensive Coordinator for a Big Ten football program. Simply getting an invitation to do an interview validates every ounce of work put in over my college career as worthwhile. However, when juxtaposed with the college search of only a few years prior, it's hard to feel quite as romantic about the whole ordeal. 

Why? That feeling you hear all about of just knowing you found your home when you step on campus gets a little harder to identify when monotonous columns of fluorescent lights and identical rows of cubicles are independent variables from site to site. Hearing about your 401K and health insurance benefits pales in comparison to discovering the partnerships for study abroad trips different universities have across the globe. Having to reassure your friends you've made over your time in college their own quests will have a happy ending if they are off to a slower start is much more difficult this time around when they start expressing fears of being lapped by their peers. The one constant is every person you come into contact with on your "visits" will tell you how much they love it there which ends up being of little to no assistance at the end of the day. You get bogged down. You fall into a rut. 

Getting back to the titular question, the case I've laid about against senior year being fun indicates the answer is an overwhelming no, right? There have definitely been some moments where I would wholeheartedly be in agreement. Yet in the grand scheme of things, I think that answer is a total cop out. 

In this odd, transitional semester, I've tried to register and appreciate all the small things that make the college experience what it is more intentionally. That's why I thought a blog post about this was long overdue and an ideal manifestation of this thought process. Football games, the opportunity to meet astounding new people every day, cheap pizzas and beer pitchers, free t-shirts, and a whole host of other benefits aren't being take for granted or forgotten, because only when their days are numbered, will you begin to realize how much you'll miss them when they're gone. I've tried to remind myself to not dread a walk across campus, even in the rain, because it will be much easier evading puddles than car payments come next year. I've tried to get involved with things I failed to take advantage of earlier and diversify my time to reinvest in the people and things that have given me the most. Having a mindset to diligently replace every moan, gripe, and complaint with conversation, fun, and spontaneity has made this year a blast so far.

Senior year has taken on its own distinct identity, and perhaps that's why for brief lapses it's foreign nature bred some xenophobia and dread. But what year of college (or life in general) doesn't take on a life of its own? Don't let the bulls of the real world run you over because they are inevitably breathing down your neck- whether you pay attention to them or not. Run with them and enjoy the journey more than stressing about the destination. It's a lot more fun that way.

Plus, it's probably the only way to deal with the crippling nostalgia...

J. Nave

An Investigation: Could The Newsroom Have Saved the 2016 Election?

Remember that video you probably saw shared on Facebook where some impassioned guy explains his thesis of why America isn't the greatest country in the world?

Those few minutes are the opening scene of the HBO series, The Newsroom. I would imagine half of you reading this are aware of this fact, but I would wager an exceptionally smaller percentage of you have watched the show. I joined the man delivering that monologue, Will McAvoy (played by Jeff Daniels), on his self-proclaimed mission to civilize this summer and knocked out all three seasons in two weeks. 

However, the point of this isn't to make a case for why you should watch the show. The point of this isn't to endorse a candidate, either. As I previously explained, #ImWithLin. Also, I'm not Tomi Lahren so obviously nobody would care about my opinion anyways. 

Rather, I want to draw attention to another critical scene, especially in light of the presidential election that has consumed every fiber of our society. Before proceeding, spend three minutes watching McAvoy lay out a primary debate proposal for ACN, his employer and a fictional news syndicate. The show's revisionist history format aired this episode after the unfolding of the 2012 Republican nomination process. This same formula of talking about previous and real events was used for much of the show's material and subsequent commentary.

Now, before I go any further, I realize the irony of suggesting a fictional television show could have saved the Republican Party from a reality television star, let alone the practicality of this sort of event being implemented. Neither political party would be thrilled about having their candidates essentially taking the stand with no defense counsel, and network executives would be concerned about potential backlash and protests from hardcore allegiances.

I also realize Donald Trump ended up winning the Republican nomination by a resounding margin. The Trump Train annihilated every politician in its path. While a definitely rabid group of conservatives flocked to the real estate mogul, many others begrudgingly waved the white flag and hopped on board for the sake of party unity or were terrified at the nomination of the literal antithesis to what Republicans identified as necessary characteristics to stand a chance at winning a general election following Mitt Romney's defeat in 2012. In those primaries, Trump's support ranged from about 35-40%. Due to one soundbite after another, support seemed to stagnate at that figure indicating little to no chance for Republicans to take back the White House. 

But imagine for a moment if instead of allowing discussions about anatomy and conspiracy theories to take up precious time during the primary debates, a disciplined moderator forced Donald Trump and the other dozen plus GOP candidates to obey his or her rules and answer the questions to produce a much needed vetting process. Ridiculous, unsubstantiated claims would have been thrown out, not praised. Coming up with nicknames for opponents would be labeled as sophomoric and desperate, not a groundbreaking way of calling it as it is. Attempts to attack the debate hosts and hijack the agenda would have been quelled, not encouraged for entertainment purposes. 

Sure, the veteran television character in Trump might have still been successful in turning the debates into spin offs of The Apprentice, but I'm sure now many conservatives wish a fight had been put up to preserve some dignity. Now it looks like the Republicans handed Hillary Clinton the Oval Office on a silver platter.

The possible effects had the Republicans embraced this philosophy? Maybe the third presidential debate this week would have time dedicated to the ramifications of insurers leaving the marketplace for Obamacare instead of who is "most fit" to be president. Maybe there would be a question about the candidate's plans to build on the joint operation in Mossul instead of determining whether a growing number of claims of sexual harassment are true. Maybe after the preceding town hall, we would have woken up the next morning inspired by a candidate's policy proposal and succinct plan to actually Make America Great Again instead of being obsessed with some guy named Ken Bone and instinctively purchase a red sweater.

Most importantly, maybe this upcoming debate would serve as an opportunity for a stellar performance by a Republican candidate that comes to foreshadow a victory against an unpopular, scandal riddled Democratic candidate. Instead, there's seemingly nothing in the immediate future of the GOP besides an opportunity for a final nail in the coffin for an even more unpopular, scandal riddled Republican candidate against the opposition.

In an election with massive implications for the economy, Supreme Court, and wall enthusiasts, shouldn't winning said election be the main, if not the only, goal in mind for a political party when presenting options for its nominee? It appears Republicans somehow arrived at a severe and fatal miscalculation that equaled nothing but fodder for John Oliver and Seth Meyers. If only some leaders within the GOP decided to watch The Newsroom instead of making several trips to Westeros things could have been different...

J. Nave

25 Observations From the First Month of College Football

Due to various commitments of my senior year of college, my posting output this season has been a tailor-maid metaphor for the offensive production of the South Carolina football team. This is personally unacceptable. My job search must start to take second fiddle to this blog. The establishments in Five Points must survive without frivolous donations from my checking account. My professors will need to start excusing my absences in support of my pursuit of the literary arts and creative expression far too lacking in our world today.

However, this hiatus severely diminished my craft when I started the brainstorming process for this post. Coming up with a quality topic to analyze, writing the occasional joke or two, and throwing a motivational call to action on top was a hat trick I'm not ready to complete yet. Thus, I made a decision to regress back to the minor leagues with my writing. 

How does one do this? By stylizing and formatting in a way that is always prominently featured on Buzzfeed. This goes against every fiber of my being and is a direct violation of my morals and ethics, but I made a stipulation to not include any GIFs which will hopefully allow me to live with myself after publishing this. 

Without adding any more content to my introduction that isn't clickbait, you won't believe the 25 observations I've observed during the first month of the college football season that I've observed!!!

1. Lamar Jackson is the best athlete to ever play collegiate football.

2. Saying Lamar Jackson is the best athlete to every play collegiate football is maybe a hot take, but then again maybe it's not? That is powerful evidence for his case. There are people who adamantly believe our world is flat. Go poke holes in their logic rather than mine. The Louisville quarterback, should his production continue at this similarly alarming rate only rivaled by the disappearance of bees, will win the Heisman this year. Probably next year, too. And then either the Super Bowl or a third Heisman the year after that. This is Lamar Jackson's world, and we're all just living in it. 

3. Louisville deserved to lose to Clemson. Bobby Petrino did an interview in a neck brace when he was the coach at the University of Arkansas following a motorcycle accident that subsequently exposed an affair he was having with an athletic department intern. IT'S ALSO THE FIRST PICTURE THAT COMES UP WHEN YOU GOOGLE HIS NAME! Then six of the next seven are also him in the aforementioned neck brace. His team should never win a national title as a result of this horrible chain of past transgressions. 

4. Alabama's still really good? Never mind, that doesn't count. We all knew that already. 

4. Alabama beat USC 52-6 in the opening week of the season even after scoring zero points in the first quarter. This is further evidence Nick Saban coaches college football solely for the joy he harvests from the crushed hopes and dreams of children and puppies. Since then, Alabama got sweet, seersucker revenge on Ole Miss and seems primed to beat the perceived cream of the crop in the SEC on their way to another trip to Atlanta. 

5. Tennessee played a football game at a NASCAR track, and somehow that has ended up being the least exciting game of their season to date. It's a bold strategy to rely on divine intervention to beat Appalachian State and a really bad Georgia team, but they're 5-0 so more power to them. 

6. Actually, no power to them. Tennessee's head coach Butch Jones literally went over and initiated himself into the Appalachian State post game huddle and congratulated the Mountaineers after they lost to Jones' team in overtime. If you coach in the SEC, you should know your place. Jones obviously doesn't know his. Hopefully Texas A&M will beat the hell out of Tennessee this week. 

7. Ohio State and Michigan appear to be on a collision course to play a game in late November that may shift the balance of power in this country more than the upcoming presidential election. On the opposite end of the spectrum, even if both teams would somehow manage to lose the rest of their games before then, it will still provide more entertainment and passion than the recent Mike Pence-Tim Kaine debate. 

8. Speaking of Ohio State, I recently learned Curtis Samuel is on pace to be the first player in FBS history with both 1,000 yards receiving and rushing in the same season . If Lamar Jackson decided to return to Krypton in the next couple weeks, the lovechild of Reggie Bush and Percy Harvin should receive far more mentions in the Heisman conversation.

9. I picked Notre Dame to make the College Football Playoff back in August. Looking back on that terrible decision, I've come to realize that may be worst prediction in the history of this blog. That is really saying something. I picked Creighton to make the Final Four in 2014 for God's sake.

10. Picking Notre Dame to make the Playoff was really a dumb manifestation of a pipe dream of mine to hopefully expand the postseason to include more than four teams by like next season. Jesus, even in touchdown form, doesn't appear to support the Irish fulfilling this dream. Luckily, Jesus does appear to have some sort of allegiance to upholding the integrity of college football fan because he gave us Tom Herman and the Houston Cougars in their stead.

11. Houston is undefeated. Houston is bordering on elite on both sides of the ball. Houston gets to play Louisville in November. Should Greg Ward Jr. and Houston pull off that victory, I'm saying there's a serious chance of a Group of Five school making the Playoff this year. My pipe dream lives on. 

12. Don't let this blog post distract you from the fact the Golden State Warriors and unanimous MVP blew a 3-1 lead in the NBA Finals to the Cleveland Cavaliers. They'll quest to replicate this feat with Kevin Durant will begin in only a matter of days.

13. The annual autumnal gift of Seattle, Washington is the Pumpkin Spice Latte. However, the city's college football team might be another pleasant offering this year. They pummeled Stanford last week, which was not only a program defining win, but also crucial fodder for Microsoft employees to use on discussion boards to attack their colleagues at Apple, Facebook, and Google down in Silicon Valley and feel a little bit better about their place in the cutthroat world that is the tech community. 

14. I highly doubt that scenario played out, but a huge part of me really hopes it did. 

15. September started with everybody anointing Texas and Charlie Strong for revolutionizing the two quarterback system in a perceived huge win against Notre Dame. Now, Charlie Strong might get fired should he lose to archrival Oklahoma on Saturday. It took less time for him to fall out of favor, move back into favor, and then slide back out of favor once more than Jaime Lannister. Or like any other character on Game of Thrones, really.

16. Les Miles won 77% of his games at LSU and that still wasn't enough for him to save his job. Can you imagine being that successful at your job and getting canned? College football is ruthless.

17. The administrators at LSU need to send a thank you letter to the Cincinnati Zoo for acting more ruthlessly in the past few months. Harambe won 99.9% of events in his life, and it wasn't enough for him to save his life... 

18. No more trite jokes. I promise. 

19. North Dakota State is receiving a lot of votes in the Associated Press poll. The funny thing is North Dakota State doesn't even play in the correct division of college football for them to be receiving votes. There are almost 100 teams in the FBS who are believed to be worse than the Bison. Let that sink in for a second.

20. Did it sink in? If so, I hope you realize why I think the Big Ten or Big 12 should seriously inquire about adding the Bison. Fargo is lovely this time of year. It's an underrated media market. High School Football in the state is on the rise. It's one state away from Mount Rushmore. They have a superb college hockey team. Recent Bison legend Carson Wentz is obviously on track to break every passing record in the NFL and win seven Super Bowls. It's a win-win, but with way more wins for all parties involved. Kick Purdue/Kansas out, bring in North Dakota State, and watch your conference's reputation eclipse the SEC overnight. 

21. This month, we'll get a clearer picture of who the true contenders are in the more open college football divisions, like the Big Ten West and ACC Coastal. Most importantly, though, we'll get to find out #WhoIsTheAccountant when Ben Affleck's new movie comes out. My guess? Batman. The accountant is Batman. 

22. This clown trend plaguing our country is bizarre, but it pales in comparison to the absurdity of this trend where players are dropping the ball just shy of the end zone and costing their teams a touchdown. Should a player at the wrong program do this in a crucial moment, we might see a mob chase that athlete with the same ferocity displayed by the group at Penn State trying to hunt down a clown spotted on their campus.

23. If there was a game played last Saturday night, but "Closer" wasn't played at a tailgate you attended earlier in the afternoon, did the game actually happen?

24. Miami and Nebraska are both undefeated. The college football historian in me is excited about those programs potentially recapturing their past glories. The college football fan of the 2010s in me is excited about watching those programs inevitably crash and burn perhaps as early as this weekend. 

25. Alabama, Ohio State, Clemson, and *fingers crossed/knock on wood* Houston will be the four participants in this season's College Football Playoff. It's what our country wants. It's what our country needs. You want actual thanks, Obama? Make this happen.

J. Nave

College Football Playoff Prediction 2K16

It's officially the start of another college football season, so naturally I'm constantly in one of those moods where hearing a famous Brent Musburger or Verne Lundquist call has me ready to punch several dozen holes in the closest wall. I'm aware California played Hawaii already, but I refuse to recognize college football officially until I'm a day or two away of parking myself on my couch for 15 hours on a Saturday and watching the world's best octogenarian, Lee Corso, put on a mascot head.

I'll be honest with you, though, part of me is dreading the arrival of this season. Knowing this will be the final slate of games I watch as an undergraduate just sucks. I remember the first South Carolina game I went to as a freshman like yesterday; a 65 yard touchdown pass on the third play of the game definitely doesn't hurt keeping it in recall. A silver lining to my sadness is all the crazy happenings that have happened in the past three years across college football will continue for each fall for the rest of my life. But I'd be flat out lying if I won't feel a little extra nostalgia whenever I see one of Auburn's unimaginable victories during 2013, any Ohio State highlight during their unexpected and unprecedented 2014 championship run, or Michigan managing to lose by being unable to execute a punt in 2015.

As an amateur blogger, however, I have a duty to fight off my sentiments and do my job: Incorrectly predict the four teams that will make the College Football Playoff. This was a difficult task this year. On one hand, the star power across the country this year rivals any year in recent memory and should lead to a compelling Heisman race. On the other hand, many of the top teams in the preseason polls have troubling uncertainties that desperately need solutions. There were several contenders for the four spots, so I'll start out with the teams who got serious consideration, but narrowly missed the cut.

South Carolina
1. Do you believe in miracles?
2. Is it too soon to start a #FireMuschamp campaign?

Stanford
Christian McCaffrey should have won the Heisman last year. I'm rooting for him to carry the Cardinal to the playoffs all by his lonesome, but it's going to be a challenge in a cannibalistic Pac 12.

Oklahoma
The Sooners open up with Houston and Ohio State in September, and the Big 12 is going to offer much more staunch competition this fall. Unless Bob Stoops can fight off the plaguing force in sports that is complacency and his own past demons of faltering with a highly ranked team in the preseason, I envision Oklahoma taking a step back.

Tennessee
I read this article over the summer about Zac Efron. Essentially its thesis was despite all signs pointing towards him being an inevitable movie star, Efron is unable to get himself in a role that doesn't remind viewers of  East High school sensation Troy Bolton. Naturally the first thing that came to my mind after reading the piece was the Tennessee Volunteer football program, and their struggles to escape the mediocrity that has plagued them during the past decade.

The past few offseasons have all featured headlines about a return to the ~rocky~ top of the SEC East. However, nothing has come to fruition yet. Butch Jones has a talented team, but he's still Butch Jones. Tennessee is bound to lose a game to a team they shouldn't, leading to an inevitable crash and burn even aerospace engineer/quarterback Josh Dobbs won't be able to prevent.

LSU
Leonard Fournette, unstoppable force and immovable object two-in-one, is enough to make the Tigers a compelling team. Add in the human interest story and motivation to play for the victims of the devastating flooding in Baton Rouge, and you've got a team that's hard to root against.

But until Nick Saban's grass eating replacement beats the actual Nick Saban, LSU won't make the playoffs. I'll give Les Miles credit, though. It's hard to win the SEC when your quarterback play resembles hybrid qualities of both a train wreck and a dumpster fire.

Washington
Sports Illustrated ranked the Huskies ahead of Houston and Ohio State at #6 in their preseason poll, which is undoubtedly the only reason I'm including Washington in my fringe teams. Sports Illustrated used to be a great magazine. Pathetic circulation now. Even worse reporting. Sad!

Michigan
The adage defense wins championships is going to be tested by the Wolverines. A lot, I mean A LOT, of people are pegging Jim Harbaugh's bunch as a playoff team. I think we're still a year away from a Michigan-Ohio State game with championship implications, Meyer and Harbaugh throwing punches at each other at midfield, and a clashing between both fan bases that might create enough energy to replicate the Big Bang.

Now, without any further ado, to the teams who will make the playoff .

1. Clemson
Last year, I previewed the college football season by noting the similarities between some of the top ranked teams and a presidential candidate. My predictions about the staying power of the Tigers and Donald Trump were both wildly wrong. Deshaun Watson's heroics were nearly enough to topple Alabama, and with his entire arsenal of weapons back, it's not hard to imagine Clemson challenging the record for most points scored in a single season.

A tricky test this Saturday down on The Plains and a trip to Tallahassee would appear to be their only potential defeats in the regular season. Dabo Swinney seems to be knocking on the door of the echelon of elite coaches, and should he get into the playoff again, it would be hard to deny him entry.

2. Alabama
They've never not made the College Football Playoff. Until Nick Saban isn't their coach, until the Crimson Tide don't bring in the #1 recruiting class, and until any other SEC team rises up and decides they don't want to hang on to the school's coattails for carrying the reputation of the conference, I won't pick against Alabama.

They'll plug in a new quarterback, lose one game (likely on the road because of a highly irregular deficit in turnover margin or fluke play), and embarrass some team from the SEC East in the championship game. The narrative is getting boring, but it will continue like clockwork down in Tuscaloosa for the immediate future.

3. Notre Dame
The playoff desperately needs to be expanded to eight teams. This year, when Notre Dame earns a spot, the process will hopefully be catalyzed.

With the Irish's schedule this year, an 11-1 record will likely earn them a spot. Home games against Stanford and Michigan State and road contests against Texas and USC are enough to build a strong resume. Whether Brian Kelly plugs in Malik Zaire or Deshone Kizer at quarterback, the offense will be in the hands of one of the more experienced quarterbacks in the country.

Notre Dame lost a lot of talent from last season, but enough remains for the Irish to sneak in the playoff of what I'm anticipating to be a wide open season (When Notre Dame inevitable loses to Texas in the season opener because of this selection, I'm going to feel way more nervous about their chances. This just feels like a year for Notre Dame to excel in before getting walloped by a far superior team).

4. Ohio State
The final spot comes up with three potential conference champions not represented. I'm going to side with the coach who is 50-4 the past four seasons for who to hang my reputation on.

It should be clear by know Urban Meyer knows what he's doing. He's brought in a stable of talented players who will step in to help out its unquestioned leaders with annually strong recruiting classes since his arrival in Columbus. This is JT Barrett's team on offense. This is Raekwon McMillan's team on defense.

I know Ohio State only brings back six starters. They had ten of the first ninety four players selected in the NFL Draft. But if this was Alabama and Nick Saban, would there be nearly as much talk or concern? I don't think so, and I'm not sure why. I also believe that pisses Meyer off to no end. Although he would never explicitly express his feelings on the matter, no other coach has been able to best Saban when it matters most.

Michigan has to come to the Horseshoe. Ohio State has to go to Norman, East Lansing, Madison, and Happy Valley. Contrary to past beliefs about the Big Ten, that's a schedule very few teams can compete with. With that, I wouldn't be surprised if Ohio State struggles and fails to get to ten wins. With Meyer at the helm, though, I see a very small chance of that happening.

J. Nave

What The Hell Am I Supposed To Do When I Graduate College?

I’m staring down the barrel of an intimidating, terrifying, bordering on impossible to answer, will be repeatedly asked until I come up with a sufficient answer, monster of a question: What are you doing after you graduate?    

Being a three year letterman with one last slate of school in front of me, I’ve got a comfortable idea of how this year will unfold. The syllabi pressuring won’t seem imposing anymore. My resume will add new dimensions. There will be celebrations for victories with my friends. And in about nine months, my time to execute this playbook will run out. The challenge between now and then is establishing a contingency for my next arena in life.

Over the next two semesters, I’m going to periodically document my experiences and thoughts that contribute to building a substantial response for the opening question. There are three goals for this journey. One, it allows me to keep bouts of insanity away. Two, it connects with someone going through this same course. Three, it acts as content on this blog that can’t be mocked in a few weeks like the sports predictions I continue to post in a public and permanent location for some unbeknownst reason.

Let’s start with some context for where I am right now by taking a few steps backwards before forging ahead on this quest.

It’s a scary proposition attempting to make a decision when several possibilities are laid out in front of you. This phenomenon is called the paradox of choice; for example, I agonize over picking the most utility delivering ice cream flavor when there are more than a dozen alternatives. Pinpointing the correct, initial job I should pursue by dissecting an infinite number of options and getting constant reminders of the daunting and significant nature of this decision is predictably a lot to digest.

Almost daily, I interrogate myself to hopefully catalyze an epiphany. Should I pursue a graduate degree? Which one? Which school? What industries would I be happy in? What are the best companies in those industries? Would they hire me? What region of the country can I envision living? What city? What’s the cost of living there? Would I have any friends there? Can I have a dog in an apartment? Can I have two?

Right now, I have a list of about a thousand contenders battling for the lead.

Some are improbable (Convincing Netflix to give me the chance to launch a sports talk show for them at the ripe age of 22 with no professional experience in producing, writing, and hosting).

Some are fun in theory (Bouncing from odd job to odd job until my mid to late 20s where I turn a fourth place finish on The Bachelorette, into an appearance on Bachelor in Paradise, into an appearance on one of those B-list celebrity game shows, and into an invitation for Dancing with the Stars).

Some need a miraculous and substantial influx of capital (Move to the Bahamas where I open a popular beachfront bar named Jake’s. Because the world needs another bar or two named Jake’s).

Some are even realistic and likely to occur, but I won’t bore you with those.

I’m finding the crux right now to be identifying the best sources for help. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have a strong support system in my life. Journeymen who have emerged from this gauntlet before to prove everything will be alright. Veterans who possess sage advice. Confidants who know and have my best interests at heart.

I believe it’s important to learn from these case studies, however, I often times find myself reluctant to draw any meaningful corollaries for myself. Ironically and like so many others, I’m perfectly comfortable with dishing out this learned guidance to others. But taking the lessons and morals personally to heart and letting somebody else’s tale directly influence my own? For some reason, it seems natural for us to approach this self-application not nearly as welcoming.

Because of this hesitancy, I’ve tried to stay alert as not to miss fateful signs or subtler assistance from the unlikeliest of leads. Preceding this journey, there have been two events that have lingered with me for some time that I keep reflecting back on.

A serendipitous ride with a chauffeur this past January was the first. The man had to be about 70, but after exchanging our introductions, it was clear he possessed an unwavering amount of youthful energy. After a four hour flight, I wasn’t exactly thrilled for a 40 minute drive to the hotel. His spirited commentary, however, changed my attitude.

Leaving the Phoenix airport and without any prompting, he presented a few facts on every landmark in the passing choreography of the city’s metropolitan sprawl. He detailed an itinerary to maximize my approximately two hours of free time over the next day. He raved about every aspect of his home with exuberant pride.

The story suddenly pivoted to personal anecdotes. I learned he spent much of life on the road as a truck driver logging more than a million miles across the continental United States. He reminisced about nights in the ski lodges of the Rockies with friends he hadn’t seen in 40 years. He listed his favorite stretches of highway; the roads winding through the underappreciated canyons of Utah at sunset, the freedom he felt in the coastal breeze travelling up and down the coast of California, and the kaleidoscope of colors from the Blue Ridge Parkway’s autumnal leaves could be recalled with uncanny detail.

When I finally sensed an opportunity (and worked up the courage) to interrupt, I asked why he decided to settle in Phoenix.

His answer centered on his parents, who planted their roots in Arizona’s capital a couple decades earlier. He had actually come back only a few years ago to take care of them. Unfortunately, both had passed away recently. He spoke with melancholy for the first time, but when we arrived at the hotel, positive emotions returned as he showed me pictures of the setting for what he called his epilogue- a beautiful lodge in the mountains of New Mexico.

We shook hands. I offered up my meager, insignificant thanks for the conversation. He gave me a piece of advice for the interview I had tomorrow. It was long winded and accompanied by a narrative, but it boiled down to remembering life has detours, construction, and traffic jams.

The second has stuck with me going back almost a year and a half now, but doesn’t need as long of an introduction, as the story can be reference here on Reddit. An AMA response by former Ohio State walk-on basketball player turned normally comedic sportswriter/Twitter extraordinaire Mark Titus about his depression. The man has made me tear up from laughing so hard. Reading those comments had me tearing up from opposite emotions.

If you didn’t click on the link, which I highly recommend spending an additional three minutes reading, the last sentence he writes struck me: Simply experiencing the human condition makes me happy. 

What the hell am I supposed to do when I graduate? I have absolutely no idea. While I know these two parables aren’t going to directly author an answer, I’m hoping they serve as opening chapters to a blossoming manual for perspective, patience, and the proper prescription to clearly view this endeavor.

Like reminding myself I might have to alter my course when it’s finally set whether I want to or not. Realizing certain projects that are an inconvenience right now could pay off with meaningful dividends in the long run. Expecting to encounter both friendly and not so friendly competition with others on the roadways to the most popular and thrilling places. Knowing one phone call from the right person could result in putting your entire life momentarily on hold. Never forgetting the elation conversing with someone new can bring. Remembering life is a highway isn’t just a song.

Like persuading me to replace the complacency of watching another series or two or Netflix with spontaneous adventures. Notice the sights and sounds of the walks across campus with some extra attention to detail.  Appreciate the environment of a college town and its bartenders for not bludgeoning my bank account to the brink of death when I spend a night out. To not take for granted the special circumstances that being surrounded by 30,000 people all trying to maximize their college years by experiencing the human condition offers.

My plan for trying to “answer the question” going forward? Knock on as many doors as possible, in as many places as possible, in the coming months. I expect from the majority I’ll receive no answer, and they will have to remain closed for a little while longer. Some will creak open allowing me a peek inside to determine if I like what I see. Hopefully a select few will swing wide open and a beneficial relationship will be solidified by one moment of being in the right place at the right time

When I went off to school, I left home with a healthy mix of eagerness and anxiety. As I begin to tackle this task, I feel the same way. Who knows where this odyssey will lead. A new campus, city, commonwealth, or country are all potential destinations. I can't wait to see what counsel crosses my path. An Uber driver or a Bojangles employee might tell me a story that changes my outlook on everything.

But for right now, I only see a vast stretch of open road, and I'm armed with just an uncalibrated compass to navigate. What a ride this is going to be.

J. Nave

Forecasting Durant Without the Thunder and Oklahoma City Without Durant

The San Andreas Fault was always widely believed to be the biggest threat of Earth shattering news in the Golden State.

Then Monday happened. Kevin Durant announced he would be taking his talents to the Bay Area, and any notions previously held about sports, science, religion, and politics had to be reexamined or just completely thrown out the window.

In reaction, fireworks on our country’s birthday were replaced by fiery hot takes from sea to shining sea. Basketball enthusiasts were salivating over what Chef Curry and his new companion will be able to cook up in an even more lethal Death Lineup. Durant’s business opportunities in Silicon Valley were being drooled over by the area’s prominent venture capitalists. Draymond Green relished the presence of a safety net should his uncontrollable extremities meet the groins of opposing players in the playoff runs of years to come.

Many expressed their grievances and skepticism about the move, though. Personally, Durant has been called a coward, the worth of his hypothesized future championship and legacy already questioned, and his jerseys seemed to serve as a substitute for sparklers in Oklahoma’s capital last night. On a macro level, the current parity of the NBA has to leave fans from Orlando to Portland wondering if they might as well start waiving their white flags.

I understand why Durant made his move. I’m in no position to judge who I believe to be the second best basketball player on the planet. I do, however, want to comment on Durant’s signing and why it personally stung.

My uneasiness when I read the news is because of an article I read less than six weeks ago in Sports Illustrated. I lifted some of the more notable quotes on a second read of Lee Jenkins’ piece:

“I think of myself as a small-town kid,” Durant says. “I liked the small-town vibe. But it was a ghost town. The downtown wasn’t really a downtown. I don’t remember a single tall building. Now I look at that building and it’s a beacon, reminding me what we came from.”

“Our world revolves around championships,” Durant says. “Who won the championship? Who will win the championship? If you’re not the champion, you’re a loser. If you’re not first, you’re last. Don’t get me wrong, I want to win a championship more than anybody, but if you go through the journey we’ve gone through, you can also appreciate other things.” Like the skyscraper, completed nearly four years ago, towering outside his window.

“The Thunder has given us a worldwide brand we’ve never had before,” says the mayor, Mick Cornett. “The exposure has been immeasurable. You tell somebody in another country you’re from Oklahoma City, and they say, ‘Kevin Durant.’”

My first thought after reading Durant’s words? He possesses maturity, a keen mind, and a refreshing, genuine sense of romanticism. Three qualities a vast majority of us want our favorite athletes to embody outside of our competition. Combined with his charitable spirit, it's easy to see why Durant was worshiped and so eagerly integrated into the town's branding.

My second reaction was a realization that outside of oil, Kevin Durant was truly the most valuable commodity to Oklahoma City and perhaps the entire state. Before the Thunder came to town, was the city best known for a tragic act of domestic terrorism or an occasional tornado? (My age makes it hard to accurately speculate on this, but suggested Google searches seem to confirm this). I’d make the case he meant more to his team than LeBron James does to the Cavaliers- There was a basketball team on Lake Erie’s shores before the arrival of the Chosen One. In Oklahoma City, there was never a time before Durant. He took, and fittingly made, the franchise’s first shot… Now they enter Year 1 A.D. with only a crushing fear their other destroyer of worlds might soon follow him out the door, and a long rebuild will likely have to proceed after the passing storm.

That’s why I think the desire to criticize Durant crept in. I, like the thousands of Thunder diehards, are in the position of being fans of what the sports world label small market teams. Cities where free agents don’t historically want to sign (Cleveland’s zip codes aren’t sexier than 90210?). Organizations whose shallower pockets limit their ability to retain star players (Hello, Reds and Indians). Franchises whose championship windows are impossible to permanently wedge open, if they can ever even be cracked an inch in the first place (Looking at you, Blue Jackets). The highs are much more meaningful because of these factors (Thank you, Cavs), but the lows always seem to be far more recurring.

What brings us fans back after those bad years is hoping we can find a tried and true framework that's proven successful in the past: If we hire the right front office, if we make some good draft picks, if we find the right veterans, and if we find a good coach to lead the way, we can possibly hold on to our superstar, we can contend for a title, and we can make our flyover state reputation as attractive as New York City or Los Angeles.

Oklahoma City fans have to be discouraged because their organization was a model of how to do all those right things. The team molded a lineup with both depth and talent around their star. The front office correctly pegged players that could keep the pipeline of great prospects flowing to reinforce the amount of chances for a title. The franchise overcame injuries to almost annually make deep runs in the playoffs. The coach, who many questioned after being plucked from the collegiate ranks, added fresh perspectives to take the team's play to new heights. Four quarters away from a chance for a championship, three separate times, the tipping point Durant sensed was on the precipice seemed inevitable. Then over the course of a few nights it wasn't. Now, the guy who cast a shadow much larger than his 6'9" frame across the culture, economy, and trajectory of the city is gone. He believe he likely sets off to win multiple championships to build an impressive legacy on the court; the one thing he had not yet been able to construct around him in his current life, even though it's hard to believe the framework wasn't almost finished.

In the series finale of The Office, Andy Bernard delivers his parting words in a monologue about wishing you could realize you were in the good old days before you left them. The quotes above sure make it seem like Durant felt in Oklahoma City he was simultaneously creating and living in them. I don't think anyone can disagree with his assessment that great days will be plentiful in San Francisco in the next few years, but it seems he's leaving his current set too soon. After such an exciting cliffhanger, it's somewhat cruel the fans won't get another season to watch. 

“But it’s not just that,” Durant continues. “I drive through downtown, through midtown, through the Asian district and see so many different businesses, so many different people. It’s a big, diverse city that’s grown with the team… I know that’s not a championship. But the championships, the records, the who’s the best player—there will always be new champions and new records and new players. What we’re talking about, these are jobs, these are lives, these are things that will matter for 40 years, and that is very cool to me.”

Above, is one final quote from the aforementioned article. Durant could easily go on to win several titles with the roster he's about to join. His business acumen combined with plentiful opportunities in the city he's about to live is likely to expand his wealth. The question we'll have to wait 40 years to answer is how many rings, how much fun, and how many dollars will be enough to make Durant believe his legacy wouldn't have been better off spurring more livelihoods, catalyzing more growth, and delivering just a single title as a forefather to both the city he developed, and the team that helped develop him. 

J. Nave

Fate Comes to Believeland

Tomorrow night, Believeland will be tested once again.

On its face, it seems this is a paradoxical form of identification for a city that's often labeled as a mistake. A city whose best days are widely believed to be trapped in the past. A city that houses the honors for the best musicians of yesteryear. A city that makes you wonder for much of the year if Mother Nature is encouraging you to find a reprieve from its weather. A city that has its own Wikipedia page and ESPN movie for the failures and apparent curse of its professional sports teams. A city that quite frankly hasn't offered much to believe. Very few places on the planet, though, will you find a group of people who believe more than fans of the Browns, Cavaliers, and Indians. They believe so ceaselessly an outsider might wonder if Journey's most popular song plays on a loop in city hall. They believe in such a fashion Einstein would dub the whole city mad.

In a terrifying twist from the status quo, however, the outsiders are believing in Cleveland now. They see a destroyer of worlds playing with a determined ferocity to prove he's more valuable than the league MVP and willing his teammates to believe in his mission. They see an opponent who's battered with injuries, mentally agitated, and on the cusp of never before seen failure.

This reactionary xenophobia to the support isn't grounded in a fear of the geographically or culturally foreign, though. It's derived from the widely feared, yet impossible to anticipate, unknown. A fear of what today foresight would deem an impossible play manages to happen and swings the game the wrong way tomorrow. A fear of once again having to weigh whether giving into nihilism about winning a championship is a better option than following down the path of belief created heartbreak in the seasons to come.

Whether it's a stroke of fate and dynasty or cruel misfortune is to be determined, but Game 7 against the Golden State Warriors will fall on Father's Day. Across the state of Ohio, especially in its northeast quadrant, fathers and sons will watch the game together wondering if decades of suffering will come to an end. Grandfathers will root with their grandsons hoping the next generation of fans will escape the misery they've had to endure. Members from every generation will believe, and if things don't go well, the history will be rehashed by the elders to make sure the faith never fades away.

Throughout this series, I'll admit my belief wasn't always strong. It looked like the quest to win a title was going to end before it got started. Since then, I've shifted from no hope, to subdued levels of pessimism, to what I would describe now as mild optimism. A Cleveland championship hasn't happened in 52 years. No team has ever come back from a 3-1 deficit in the NBA Finals. The Cavaliers' opponent is a team who compiled a historic 73-9 record, whose coach laid out a list of grievances with the refs that would make it seem any close call will go their way, who's led by the league MVP motivated by attacks on both him and his wife, and who will be playing in a building where they are 50-4. Many would say I am stupid to get my hopes up now.

I say we might look back on June 19, 2016 and realize it was the perfect storm and the most satisfying reward Believeland deserved.

J. Nave

I'm Saying There's a Chance: How Cleveland Wins Four Games Against Golden State

On Thursday, I announced through Twitter my mind was telling me the city of Cleveland's championship drought would continue via a Golden State sweep (Let's face it. We're just going to have to wait until the Robert Griffin III led Browns win Super Bowl LI). In the following hours, the performance of the Warriors and a few replies from the haters  my followers did nothing to dissuade me from my prediction. Golden State is more talented. They play harder at almost every position on the floor. Steph Curry's confidence in pregame warm-ups alone should be enough of a sign no opponent is going to compile a 4-3 record against the Warriors, especially when a majority of those games are being played in Oracle Arena (He was trying to volleyball serve the ball in the hoop from the three point line before the first game. Game over). The odds are slim, but I've figured out the one path to a series victory for The Land.

Game 2: New Coach, New Result
If there's a better basketball catchphrase than Mark Jackson's, "Mama, there goes that man", I'm not familiar with it. Additionally, the former coach of the Bay Area's NBA franchise doesn't hold back his disdain from being let go after the 2013-2014 season when he's on the call. In the following two seasons since his dismissal, the Warriors have been on a torrid run of dismantling all notions of what were previously the universal limits of basketball, and Jackson has been looking for a team to stop Steve Kerr's Run and Gun offense. After last night, it became evident to me the Cavs should fire Tyronn Lue and give Jackson the keys. But just for the next two weeks. Hell, I wouldn't bet against him suiting up and giving the team 25 minutes and 15 points off the bench at the age of 51. He'll know how to best get inside the Splash Brothers' heads. He'll know how to trigger a costly flagrant foul out of Draymond. This man is the seer Cleveland needs. Dan Gilbert will realize he has no choice but to take out a third mortgage on who operates his team. Jackson calls his own number in the final minute, hits a game winning three with 4.8 seconds left, and the series is all tied at one.

Game 3: Praise The Lord of Light 
There might be a public backlash for openly worshiping a fictitious paganism, but the ability of this god's most devout followers cannot be understated. Resurrections are common place. Their priestesses turn 400000 into the new 40. Outside of Chance the Rapper, I don't think there's been a single increase in admiration that can rival R'hllor's newfound popularity. When you resurrect Jon Snow, that's bound to happen. It's quite simple really. Let's get LeBron James and his kingsblood in the same room as Melisandre and get one of those smoke baby demons conceived. Fear not, though, there shall be no killing from this strange life form. When it sweeps down from the rafters of Quicken Loans Arena to block Andre Iguodala's go ahead three, the Cavs will hold a 2-1 series lead. Even better, this will be accomplished without having to burn a child alive!

Game 4: H-O-R-S-E
With the trajectories of the Warriors' regular season and the Cavaliers' postseason, it seemed possible the NBA Finals could come down to a glorified three point contest. That's why to take Game 4 the Cavaliers will shoot nothing inside the arc. Think about this for a second. In Game 1, the Cavaliers took 105 shots. Entering this series. the Cavaliers had been making about 43% of their threes. 105 shots at a .43 success rate with a possible of 3 points a shot, means the Cavaliers mathematically could have expected to score about 135 points. I don't care how badly you play defense. The Warriors are going to have a hard time outscoring that number. By the time they catch on to the strategy and try to implement it themselves, it will be far too late. J.R. Smith and Channing Frye and Kevin Love and Kyrie Irving and basically everybody not named Matthew Dellavedova pulls up every single possession to one up the Splash Brothers with a cannonball of a performance. Cleveland goes up three games to one.

Game 5: A Setback
Sorry, even in this fairy tale scenario, a team isn't beating the Warriors four games in a row and simultaneously clinching the series in Oakland. Cavs lose by 32.

Game 6: Play the Trump Card
Just when it appears the Golden State Warriors are going to come back from a 3-1 deficit once again after jumping out to a huge halftime lead in Game 6, the Cavaliers channel their inner real estate mogul and build a wall around the Golden State locker room at the break. Right before the third quarter should begin and unable to fight through the structure, Golden State attempts to broadcast the sabotage to the outside world. However, they come to find @Cavs has already dominated the Twittersphere with insults and vague claims about the Warriors' players, front office, and fans. Most importantly, the team is shocked to discover the wall is being justified as a necessity because forward Anderson Varejao, a native of Brazil, was rumored to have contracted the Zika virus on a recent visit home. The quarantine is hailed by the Cavs as national security preservation. With "Wallgate" delaying Game 6's second half for more than an hour, the normally unflappable Adam Silver is overcome with fear and anxiety on how to proceed. He checks his phone to see he has become the team's next victim online. He reads a news article focusing on a former college roommate's testimony Silver cheated his way through law school at the University of Chicago. Overwhelmed and seemingly outmatched, Silver makes an executive decision that Golden State must forfeit Game 6. The Warriors, in the most unexpected chapter to R. Kelly's saga, are forced to hear the far off cheers from the confused Cleveland fans and blasts from decades old confetti cannons while they're trapped in the locker room. In the coming days, it is revealed nothing Cleveland claimed was true. By then, half of the city is burned in celebration, champagne overtakes water as the main liquid in the Cuyahoga River, and a statue of LeBron James is constructed on every city block. The title is allowed to stay, and one of the longest droughts in sports history is eviscerated. Cavs in 6 comes to fruition because like Kevin Garnett once said, "Anything is possible."

J. Nave

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Debate About Stephen Curry versus LeBron James

When I was a kid and missed a day of school, I would sit on the couch and watch the flagship program of ESPN for hours. From catching up on the highlights from last night to then trying to recall and emulate the best phrases of the day from Stuart Scott, Dan Patrick, or whoever anchored the desk on the particular day, this exercise was a cherished routine. It's a different story today when I watch SportsCenter because the show is almost always live. This is vital for breaking news. It seamlessly allows for player interviews and guests to deliver their thoughts on air. Promotions can reach a whole different level, too. But the format lends itself to a major problem of having hours of airtime to fill with only a limited amount of material to discuss. Analysts can only analyze for so long. What follows analysis these days? Scorching, scalding, and sweltering hot takes in spades.

This brings me to what I want to examine: The comparison of LeBron James and Stephen Curry to determine who is the superior player. The debate has been nonstop since last June. The examination has reached a microscopic level during Curry's record-breaking annihilating season and the playoffs in anticipation of an extremely likely Finals rematch. That's why I'm afraid in the coming days the conversation is going to dominate the sports media. It's tempting, especially with players of this caliber, to turn this into the one and only story. However, we need to take a step back and realize how fruitless this talk is. 

First off, the narratives these two have written are both spectacular. Simply appreciate them both, which for some unbeknownst reason seems to be an impossible option. From his high school days, the prophetical anointing of LeBron James was borderline blasphemous. When the Cavaliers won the lottery and the right to draft the Chosen One, it was miraculous. When the Prodigal Son returned to Cleveland, the city's tepid hopes for a championship were resurrected to a frenzy. His accolades racked up in Northeast Ohio and South Beach are remarkable- besides the blemish of a 2-4 record in the Finals- and have cemented him among the greatest players of all time. It would be hard to design a more perfect specimen for the game of basketball than LeBron. For Curry, the questions and doubters were never afraid to raise their voices. The Bay Area, home to many of the country's biggest innovations and venture capitalists this millennium, took a chance on the Davidson College product. Today, the Warriors' return on investment can't even begin to be quantified. That's what happens when you lead your team to a 73-9 record, make over 400 three pointers in one season, and become the first unanimous MVP in league history. Stephen Curry is the architect of a revolution on how to dominate and defy what's possible in basketball. The overlap of their careers should be considered a stroke of tremendous luck. 

The ways their teams have been viewed in breaking the wills of opponents makes a comparison even more difficult. The cutting and motion offense of the Warriors seemingly predicates passing up uncontested layups for wide open three pointers. When Golden State employs their "Group of Death" lineup, the philosophy leads to a brand of basketball the rest of the NBA is desperately attempting to replicate. Whether it's a behind the back pass to an open Klay Thompson, pick and pop with Draymond Green, or celebrating a 30 foot three pointer before it goes in, Curry is the maestro of this trendy orchestra. His scoring ensures the ensemble stays in key and in rhythm. The Cavaliers have tried to add this dimension and become more versatile by signing a barrage of shooters to spread the floor around LeBron, but their offense is at the best when this brute, unstoppable force is leading the charge of his teammates to the basket, completing passes very few point guards would dare attempt, or attacking the glass on defense. In a way, Curry and James have become champions and the poster children for this new age versus old school approach. Basketball pundits both past and present have been weighing in all season. What's developed is the success of their teams provides merits for who's the better player, while the failure of their teams acts as indignation against their case. Changing the debate's framework from individual performance to team result leads to no meaningful answer on the original question, which is a lesson ESPN can't seem to grasp. 

Finally, an often cited point in Curry's defense is he's the face of the NBA nowadays. From jersey sales, to advertisements, to his family, it's hard to find a more popular suitor for the throne. The parables of the Warriors guard creates a David-like mythology in a career of slaying both literal and metaphorical Goliaths. This is easy and a lot of fun to root for. Many fans have happily gravitated towards his suave personality. LeBron has been vilified throughout his career for The Decision, his on court antics, maintaining friendly relationship with players around the league, and failing in the biggest moments too many times. However, where he was most hated as recent as two years ago is now home of his staunchest defenders which ultimately makes this a moot point. Besides the fact off court marketability has nothing to do with on court play, the city of Cleveland's allegiance to LeBron James is almost impossible to grasp for outsiders. A championship won by him for his city could only begin to be adequately appreciated by select pockets of long suffering and tortured fans across the country. Oh, and that's without even mentioning LeBron signed a life long deal with Nike worth ONE BILLION DOLLARS. Business, and more specifically money, normally does the most valuable talking, but in this case it's undoubtedly the most ridiculous point in this confusing debate. 

In the coming days, the rematch between the Warriors and Cavaliers will hopefully come to fruition. Not to determine whether Steph or LeBron is better, but to see the two most talented teams in the NBA from top to bottom go to war for a championship. The talk will mainly circle around the game's most exciting players, but tune out, mute, and ignore any talk when it turns to comparing and ranking the two players among all time greats. Andre Iguodala was the Finals MVP last season. Matthew Dellavedova was the key for the Cavs winning their two games. With all due respect to two of the game's present day legends, whoever wins Golden State-Cleveland Round Two will need exemplary performances from every single player on the roster. 

J. Nave

The Write in Candidates Who Can Save the 2016 Election

After months of incessant coverage, comical debates, anatomy lessons, and literally so much more I don't think I could ever attempt to note it all, it appears the 2016 Presidential Election will come down to a contest between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Many Americans will go to the voting booth in November with a dilemma of attempting to select the lesser of two evils. A career politician who might be indicted by the FBI against a loose cannon businessman who might blow up the planet on a day where he gets insulted on Twitter isn't exactly an appealing match-up. What can be done about this? We, as the American people, can rally behind a person above the nonsensical fray that has enveloped the country the past year. An individual who will truly make America great again. There's still much time to discuss the savior of our nation. But I have a few suggestions of who we should consider.

Honorable Mention: John Kasich
What was wrong with him, Republican voters?

5. Kanye West
I know he said he didn't want to run until 2020, but why not get him elected as soon as possible? Making a follow up album to The Life of Pablo and fashion shows will soon bore the godly mogul. Leader of the free world would probably pose a few more challenges, and the American people could follow right along on Twitter with the play-by-play rationale behind his sound(?) decisions. Kim Kardashian as First Lady would boost the E! Network's ratings to record numbers. It'll be even better when he announces himself as his running mate. A Kanye cabinet would be such a motley crew of arrogance the rest of the world would have no choice but to recognize American greatness, but there's an chance he names himself to every position in his cabinet, too. He's been a vital figure in getting Panda integrated in our culture these past several weeks. Graduating from the stratosphere of celebrity mecca to the White House? Welcome to the good life, President West.

4. Kobe Bryant
Ever since he dropped 60 in his final NBA game, respect for Kobe Bryant has been at an all time high. His Black Mamba nickname would easily weave together with the "Join or Die" symbol from the American revolution in a time where it would appear our country is desperate for another. Plus, what is Kobe supposed to do in his retirement anyways? He loves the limelight. He doesn't shy away from the big time. He'll stroll into the Middle East and meet the leaders of ISIS face to face. He'll play Putin one on one for control of nuclear access codes in the Far East. He'll talk to every man, woman, and child until their fears about the current status of America are alleviated. He could assemble a council of elders with some of the world's best statesmen, mainly just for show though, because we all know he's not giving them any shot at real responsibility. Shaq as his running mate? Phil Jackson as his running mate? I'm on board with this idea. Kobe will bring championship glory to the nation's capital once again?


3. Adam Silver
The NBA commissioner has only held his position for a brief time, but his reign of power has led to some impressive accomplishments. First, he handled the Donald Sterling issue tremendously (Basically, Sterling was making comments not all too distant from what Trump has been saying on the campaign trail. Now, he no longer owns the Los Angeles Clippers thanks to actions spearheaded by Silver). Then, he came out in support of legalizing sports betting, an issue that is dear and near to my heart and could easily get solved within his first 100 days in office. Granted, Silver's strong resemblance to the male character in the 20th century painting American Gothic doesn't give him the most presidential appearance, but as a country, we should be willing to look past that in the year 2016. He graduated from the University of Chicago Law School and previously worked as a clerk for a United States District Court judge. That alone is almost enough of a resume to seek political office. Us Americans love our sports. Silver is by far the most competent leader we have of a league that is starting to dominate the news headlines all year round and in a much more positive light than the NFL. Adam Silver gives us the best shot at making sure the United States of America starts winning more golds on the global stage.

2. Cersei Lannister
I had a hard time wrestling with the top three picks and deciding who I ultimately wanted to throw my weight behind. Cersei was an infinitesimally close second. The Queen Regent of Westeros hasn't ever been in charge of the Seven Kingdoms, but she's managed to finagle and maintain a position of power where she got her husband killed, manipulated her firstborn son, and appears ready to do the same to her second to rid Kings Landing of her own rabid creation. She has a mountainous, gold clad bodyguard who will and can kill any enemy of hers without exuding any effort. She sits around all day and does nothing but drink wine, and she still manages to advance her political agenda. She walked through the capital completely naked to atone for her sins as she was physically and verbally bombarded. Do you see Trump or Clinton walking across the national mall in a fashion like this?!? Besides her previous relationship with her brother, Cersei is a perfect candidate. She's from a family of political royalty that could rival Bush or Clinton, she's conniving enough to get deals struck in Washington, she has plenty of gold dragons to pay off the national debt, and she'll love this country as much as she loves her children and Cabernet. On a side note, if we elect a fictional candidate president, what exactly happens? Lena Headey is English, so she would technically be unable to hold the position. I firmly believe Cersei, portrayed by Headey and funded by American corporations HBO and Time Warner, should be allowed to protect and serve us from the long winter ahead.

1. Lin-Manuel Miranda
Sometimes the answer is so obvious we almost miss it. If there's a better candidate out there, I dare you to find him or her. Let's run down why:

-He single-handedly created Hamilton. This musical has been 1989 meets Star Wars: The Force Awakens meets Woodstock in terms of the buzz, reach, and commercial success. Track record of improving the country? Check.
-Previously, he created In The Heights, a production that took the theatrical world by storm just to a slightly lesser degree. By no means am I a patron of the arts or a thespian, but I've listened to both soundtracks and thoroughly enjoyed them. Being consistent enough to perform well for two terms? Check.

-He has been invited to the White House to not only perform and showcase his lyrical genius, but also to discuss a plan to help Puerto Rico's current financial position. He went in front of Congress as well for the same issue. Political awareness and passion? Check.
-Can you imagine Miranda's State of the Union addresses? We'd have to create a new word in our language because lit wouldn't describe them adequately. I would learn so much about the Trans-Pacific Partnership, Iranian nuclear agreements, and national tax code if they were delivered in the fashion of the video above. Ability to captivate an audience? Check.
-At only 36 years old, Miranda could weave together an opera to delight the ears of the American youth who seem to be more interested in politics than ever before, yet his knowledge of the country's history would resonate with older voters. Connecting with his constituents? Check.
-People fork over hundreds of dollars to see Hamilton. Why not expand the show on a global horizon? Within about three months of shows and a bidding war between the most elite and wealthy individuals around the world, the national deficit could feasibly turn into a surplus. A fiscally responsible choice? Yes.
-Is he under investigation from the FBI? Is he one of the least inspiring public speakers to ever seek America's highest office? No.
-Is he prone to making poor decisions with his speech that incite riots? Does he have an awful spray tan paired with awful hair? No.
-Did this whole article start out as satire but gradually convince me Miranda could run against a former Empire State senator and an Empire State businessman and carry New York? Yes.
-Can he win the 2016 Election? Only if we rally behind him and give him the chance he deserves.

#ImWithLin

J. Nave