Saturday, December 21, 2013

The Quest for 35-0 (Part One of Three)

Folks, we are at the beginning of the end of the college football season: Bowl season. Without a doubt the most exciting football season of my lifetime, it's going to be tough to see it end. However, there are still 35 more games to be played before the most dreaded hiatus in all of sports. In honor of bowl season, I've decided to predict every bowl game. Instead of lengthy analysis that would lead to "too long, didn't read" status, I've opted to write a haiku for every single bowl game. For those of you unfamiliar with this form of Japanese poetry, go look it up on Wikipedia because I'm not wasting my time to define it. Let's begin our quest for picking all 35 games correctly with the first ten. (My poetry takes time to craft. It is an art after all. Also, I procrastinated and this is all I could get done before the first bowl game started).

1. Gildan New Mexico Bowl: Washington State over Colorado State
The first of many
Rams vs. Cougars? How wild!
Cougars win shootout.

2. Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl: Fresno State over USC
Carr is a sure bet
Southern Cal prefers roulette
Go with the sure thing

3. Famous Idaho Potato Bowl: Buffalo over San Diego State
The bowl on blue turf
Both lost to Ohio State
Bulls win potatoes

4. R+L Carries New Orleans Bowl : UL-Lafayette over Tulane
Pelican State War?
I like the Ragin' Cajuns
Name is fun to say

5. Beef O' Brady's Bowl St. Petersburg: East Carolina over Ohio
Aargh! the Pirates say
Meow! the Bobcats mumble
Jack Sparrow's team wins

6. Hawaii Bowl: Oregon State over Boise State
Peterson left team
Christmas in Hawaii? Fun!
Beavs win narrowly

7. Little Caesars Pizza Bowl: Bowling Green State over Pittsburgh
Falcons beat Panthers
MAC Champs seem to like Detroit
Are seats five dollars?

8. San Diego Country Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl: Northern Illinois over Utah State
Man! That's a mouthful
Jordan Lynch is hard to stop
His team wins the plants

9. Military Bowl: Marshall over Maryland
Don't have much to say...
Both teams are unknowns to me...
Team with movie wins

10. Texas Bowl: Minnesota over Syracuse
Kill's guys come to play
Would make for good basketball
Gophers are damn cute!










Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Incoherent Rambling About Bowl Games--- An Ode to Finals Week

It's Finals Week here at the University of South Carolina. In honor of my difficult exams, my dedicated studying habits, and the last week of my first semester, I have decided to spend the next amount of my procrastination time talking to my loyal readers. Last time I graced you all with my presence, we talked about college basketball, and I made some horrible predictions about what teams will make the Final Four. But you know what, it's still December, so those teams have time to figure it out before March. We're gonna go back to football this week because the college football season got a helluva lot more entertaining over the past few weeks. Gus Malzahn became the second coach in the state of Alabama to sell his soul to the devil for some satanic magic, and he even beat the devil himself during the process. Thanks to OHverrated State getting exposed at the hands of Michigan State, Auburn now finds themselves in the BCS championship, too. Awaiting the Tigers in Pasadena will be Florida State and Jameis Winston, the latest person to benefit from the stellar, Floridian legal system, who should be toting a Heisman trophy once January 6th rolls around. What should you watch for in bowl season other than this classic? Here are some games you won't wanna miss (Predictions coming next week!)

1) The "That's a Bowl Game" Game?!?!?!?! UNLV vs. North Texas--- Heart of Dallas Bowl 1/1
The fact that there are 35 bowl games is extremely unnecessary in my opinion. Why, you ask? No need to look farther than this heralded match-up between the Rebels and the Mean Green. If there wasn't a team from Texas in the bowl, the attendance would rival your local WNBA game. Now, it might be able to eclipse the attendance at your average WWE! Monday Night Raw show. Either way, I will not be tuning into watch this game. And neither should you, unless you have a relative playing for either one of these teams... Actually, you know what... You probably still shouldn't watch it.

2) The Irony Bowl: Duke vs. Texas A&M--- Chick-Fil-A Bowl 12/31
Maybe it's just me, but I find it extremely ironic that Mr. Johnny Football's last college football game will be sponsored by one of the most Christian companies in the United States, if not the world. Mr. Manziel has lived his life according to the Ten Commandments, has been a perfect disciple for Christ throughout his college career, and his regular church attendance is now being rewarded with a match-up against Duke. Unless Mike Krzyzewski and the 2012 USA Olympic Basketball team shows up on the sidelines, the Blue Devils have zero chance to win this game. Also, I find it extremely ironic a team nicknamed 'Devils' is in the Chick-Fil-A Bowl. It's pretty obvious that Dan T. Carthy had absolutely nothing to do with picking the teams that would be playing in his game. 

3) The Which Clemson Tiger Will Urban Meyer Punch Bowl? Ohio State vs. Clemson--- Orange Bowl 1/3

Last time Ohio State and Clemson played in a game, Woody Hayes threw a mean right hand at a Clemson player and got himself fired. If Marcus Hall or Dontre Wilson decides to do the same thing to Dabo Swinney, I won't complain one bit. This game matches two teams that were embarrassed in their last outings. Clemson got in the Christmas spirit early by committing six turnovers in their ugly loss to my Gamecocks, while Ohio State got outcoached and outplayed by Michigan State. The question is what team decides to show up in Miami. The Buckeyes had no plans to be in Miami, and the Tigers might not be able to navigate themselves around such a large city and not show up on time to the game. Here's hoping OHverrated State doesn't show up, and the team that won 24 straight games beats Clemson both on the football field and in an encore sideline fight.

4) The Best Bowl Game This Year Bowl: Michigan State vs. Stanford--- Rose Bowl 1/1
If you only watch one bowl game this year, make it this one. First off, both teams will run the ball about 50 times each, so it should be over in a little over two hours. Secondly, it should be one of the most competitive bowl games. Finally, Brent Musburger will be on the call, and you never know what attractive girlfriend he may spot in the crowd this year. The first team to get to 14 should be in good position to win this game. 

5) The What Will Clowney Do This Year Bowl? Wisconsin vs. South Carolina--- Capital One Bowl 1/1
I was going to link a video of the hit, but let's face it: If you're reading this you've seen it, and you're probably tired of seeing it. Instead, I'd like to talk about the most underrated football player of the 21st century: Mr. Connor Shaw. The man has 26 touchdowns and ONE interception. The man came off the bench to lead a 17 point comeback in ONE quarter against Missouri AT Missouri. The man has the most wins of any South Carolina quarterback of all time. The man eats bowls of nails for breakfast... without any milk. The man has been an absolute delight to watch play this year, and you won't wanna miss his final college game. Plus, Wisconsin matches up pretty well with the Gamecocks, so it should be a good game. 

Well, I think that's enough procrastination for now. Next week, I'll pick every bowl game. However, I have to get back to studying. And by studying I mean, go workout, watch some Netflix, obsessively check Twitter, eat, take a nap, listen to music, text some people, go to the bathroom, shower, eat some more, and watch some more Netflix. #College

J. Nave



Tuesday, November 19, 2013

A Return to What I Do Best

Back in February when The Athletic Acumen started one of the most popular Internet trends since posting old pictures of yourself on Thursdays, I discussed college basketball week in and week out. Well, since the college football season has basically come down an inevitable National Championship between Alabama and Florida State, we're going back to our forte: College basketball. The little brother to college football, NFL, and NBA, college basketball has to fight for every second of media coverage it can get until March rolls around. Last Tuesday, there was one hell of a November night for college basketball where people, believe it or not, MY OWN AGE commanded national attention. In honor of the Champions Classic, and in anticipation of one of the best college basketball seasons of my life, I present The Athletic Acumen's Not Quite Preseason Awards for the 2013-2014 college basketball season:

1) The Player of the Year: Doug McDermott

I'm a college freshman. Andrew Wiggins, Jabari Parker, Aaron Gordon, and Julius Randle are also all college freshman. Together, we form one of the greatest recruiting classes of all time (Actually, one of us isn't playing basketball at our respective academic institutions, but does that really matter?...). That's why it might be a surprise to see a walk-on, senior, white male from the state of Nebraska in this position. Well folks, it really shouldn't be. Creighton might not have the recent NCAA tournament success of Wichita State or the name recognition of Butler, but Doug and his dad, coach Greg McDermott, have made the Bluejays into a perennial NCAA team. Here are some stats from McDermott three games into the season that validate why he's well on his way to POY consideration:
-Nearly 26 points per game
-Better than 50% from behind the three point line, 55% from the field, and 78% from the free throw line
-Nearly 6 rebounds per game
Don't get me wrong, McDermott won't have nearly as many opportunities to shine on the national stage as the heralded freshman listed above. However, since Creighton is playing in the Big East 2.0 now, he will be getting way more opportunities than he ever did in the Missouri Valley. Plus, after a victory over an underrated St. Joe's team this weekend, the basketball nation should realize Creighton is for real. As long as McDermott continues doing what he's been up to, he might run away with the player of the year, and considering the athletes named above, that's quite an achievement. Also, any player who wears a t-shirt under his jersey this day deserves an automatic 100 point boost in the standings.

2) The Freshman of the Year: Julius Randle

I'd be stupid if I didn't discuss just how special my recruiting class could be in terms of deciding the national title picture this year. Also, I'd be stupid if I didn't discuss the Kentucky Wildcats. Remember last year when UK lost at Robert Morris in the NIT, and the Athletic Acumen heckled them relentlessly? This year, that won't happen. Big Blue Nation is for real, and while they might have suffered a Big Blue Bruising from Michigan State last Tuesday, I came away 100x more impressed with the Cats than I expected. Michigan State might be the most complete team in the country at this point of the year. At the forefront of this resurgence is Randle. At times, the man dominated Michigan State down low. However, other times, Randle struggled to hang on to the basketball and tried to make something that wasn't there. His development will come with time, and come March, there will be very few power forwards in the country who can go toe to toe with him. Unless he follows in Nerlens Noel's footsteps.....

3) The Past Her Prime Disney Channel Child Star of the Year: Marshall Henderson

Get arrested for synthetic marijuana while in high school? It's okay. Everybody makes mistake. Get arrested for underage drinking and marijuana possession again? Everything's still fine in my book. Common teenage mistakes. Trying to get into a fight with every opposing fan base on the planet? I understand. Learning the lesson between overconfidence and cocky is difficult for anyone. Claiming you didn't realize posessing marijuana, other illegal drugs, and illegal weapons are felonies? I get it. The law's confusing. But doing an ESPN interview with a haircut and pose like this? That's the final straw. No more respect or understanding from me. He's officially in danger of joining Lindsay Lohan and Miley Cyrus in the Wacky Shack. Don't get me wrong, I love his game (and can't wait to become best friends with him when he comes to Columbia in the middle of January). However, Henderson's bizarre "I-Swear-To-God-I'm-A-Changed-Man-And-I-Won't-Get-Arrested-Again-Oh-And-Now-I-Look-Like-Troy-Bolton" act isn't really working for me. Yes, Marshall you need to stop getting arrested. However, keep acting like a cocky SOB on the court. It's entertaining to watch, and it's what your known for. Just ask Johnny Football how valuable being yourself can be.

4) The Can You Believe I'm Still Playing College Basketball Player of the Year: Aaron Craft


It seems like since 1345, Aaron Craft has been shutting down Big Ten point guards for the Buckeyes. The man has become a star in college basketball solely by playing defense. With the basketball shot equivalent of Tim Tebow's throwing motion, it's truly a testament to Craft's abilities that he remains relevant. You try and go one on one with him? The ball gets stolen. You blow by him? He recovers and steals it from behind. You think you have an easy layup? He draws a charge. Hell, if Aaron Craft was the villain on Dora the Explorer instead of that dumb, ratchet fox, Swiper, the show would've gone off the air years ago. Dora's talking backpack would have to shut the hell up because there'd be nothing left in it. You put him in the same backcourt as Shannon Scott and it suddenly isn't fair. Just ask Marquette. They scored 35 points against the Buckeyes on Saturday! Thirty five! Expect low scores to be a common occurrence in Ohio State games this year. Also expect the Buckeyes to put the old adage of defense wins championship to the forefront of the college basketball universe this fall.

5) The SportsCenter Top Ten Player of the Year: Aaron Gordon
A picture's worth a thousand words, right? Then this video should serve for about four million.
I'm going to set the over/under on Gordon dunks in the Top Ten at 6.5. If you didn't watch that video, go watch it. It's the only good part of this whole article. 

6) The Team Who's Ranked Way Too Low: Iowa State
Last time most people remember seeing the Cyclones, they were one shot away from upsetting Ohio State and advancing to the Sweet Sixteen. Well, Sunday night the Cyclones got their revenge against a Big Ten foe and upset Michigan. Basketball in Ames has undergone a renaissance over the past couple years thanks Frank Hoiberg and look for Iowa State to take the next step this winter. Iowa State may suffer from Texas A&M syndrome and that could be their biggest obstacle in challenging Kansas for the Big XII title. They're going to put up ridiculous offensive numbers game after game. It's just a matter of whether they can hold it together enough on the defensive side. Keep an eye on Melvin Ejim this winter, too. The man is off to a great start after returning from injury, and he could be a household name once March rolls around.

7) The Team Who's Ranked Way Too High: Syracuse
Syracuse may be 4-0, but they have looked less than stellar in each of their four games. When you have Syracuse written across the front of your jersey, you shouldn't be struggling against St. Francis (NY), Colgate, and Cornell. Last year, Syracuse rode their patented 2-3 zone all the way to the Final Four. While they do have talent on this roster, it seems like the loss of Michael Carter-Williams is really impacting the team. Next week, the team goes to Maui where they will face some stiffer competition. If Boeheim doesn't get their act together, the Orange might be spending more time surfing than shooting next week. (In all honesty if I played for the Orange, I'd probably tank in the tournament. Who cares about November basketball? I just want a free trip to Hawaii.)

8) The Way Too Early Final Four Predictions: Michigan State, VCU, Kansas, Kentucky
All four of these teams are currently in the top ten. All four of these teams have patented styles of play. All four teams have proven coaches who have risen to the occasion in March. However, since I'm picking all these teams to make it to Jerry World for the Final Four this early, it wouldn't surprise me if not a single one of them do. Here's why I like these four right now
-Michigan State: Tom Izzo takes his players to the Final Four. This is his most talented team in ages and it's been a few years since Sparty's made a deep tournament run.
-VCU: Havoc, havoc, havoc, havoc, havoc, havoc, and more havoc. The Rams already have a win over a solid Virginia team, and with Treveon Graham looking like a brand new player, they might have enough offense this time around to make a serious impact in March.
-Kansas: Ten years ago, Carmelo Anthony single-handedly took Syracuse to the National Championship. Andrew Wiggins has enough talent to do the same, plus he has a better supporting cast.
-Kentucky: Does Calipari's team follow last year's path or the national championship path? It's going to be an interesting question to watch, but Randle and Co. have too much talent in my opinion to not make it to Arlington.

J. Nave

All pictures are courtesy of ESPN... If the legal team at ESPN tracks these pictures here and tries to sue me, I hope they at least read what I've written above. I'll do any of your analyst's jobs for free. 


Wednesday, October 23, 2013

The Tenacious Ten's Triumphant Return



Remember a few weeks back where I wrote a few pieces in consecutive weeks for the first time in a long, long time. Well, due to some circumstances in my college life, I had to take a hiatus. However, I have made my much anticipated return to the blogosphere. During my time off, college football thankfully had a much more eventful schedule than The Athletic Acumen's web traffic. Upsets. New uniforms. Legendary performances. Fresh faces. Better Gameday signs. New Katherine Webb commercials... Does the world need anything more than that? Well, actually, they do. They need a new edition of the Tenacious Ten.

1) Alabama--- Beat Arkansas 52-0
About a month ago, Alabama was dominating football games. Now, they are still dominating football games. An opponent scoring a touchdown in Tuscaloosa these days is about as rare as a frat party without any alcohol. And by rare, I mean nonexistent. No team has scored a touchdown against the Tide in Bryant-Denny Stadium this year. That's incredible; I don't think it can be put in any other way. Minus the Johnny Football performance against them last month, Alabama has been the most boring, consistent, and dominant team in college football. In other words, they have been typical Alabama. AJ McCarron has prevented his team from falling to inferior teams like the rest of the SEC, too. In fact, I'm ready to designate this bunch as Alabama 2.0. The two time national champions not only feature an absolute juggernaut on the field, but now they feature a SMILING AND JOKING NICK SABAN, too! Times are good in T-Town, but with games against LSU and Auburn still ahead on the schedule, the Tide can't book a trip to Pasadena quite yet. There's one thing I've learned in my 18 years on the planet, though, and that's never bet against Nick Saban. That's why I fully expect to see Alabama playing in Pasadena come January 7th.

T2) Oregon--- Beat Washington State 62-38
Just like the Oregon of old, this Oregon team is scoring points quickly and in large quantities, but now they are doing it in pink helmets (Seriously, I'm not sure what other stunts Nike can pull at this point. Other than helmets that remove themselves, cleats and gloves with an Ironman jet propulsion system, shoulder pads with working wings, or jerseys that change colors based on the players moods, I think Oregon has nowhere else to go in terms of uniform design...Also, if those ideas haven't been considered yet, I better get some recognition, Phil Knight). Marcus Mariota should be planning on an early December trip to New York City, as he may be the best person not named Jameis Winston playing college football right now. The Ducks, like Alabama, have their biggest tests still in front of them, but until someone finds a way to slow down Mariota short of murder, I don't like any Pac 12 team's chances of beating the green, yellow, black, white, gray, lighter green, darker gray or pink clad Ducks any time soon.

T2) Florida State--- Beat Clemson 51-14
Read the score above again. Then read it again. One more time just for emphasis. The Seminoles and a redshirt freshman quarterback went into "Death" Valley, and absolutely embarrassed the Tigers (The only thing that died in Clemson, South Carolina Saturday night was Tajh Boyd's Heisman chances. Maybe he can get on a treadmill and shed some of his excess poundage before beach season, as Clemson seems destined to play in some mediocre Florida bowl game after that drubbing). Jameis Winston is better than advertised. Lamarcus Joyner's VCU-like intensity on defense has also proven that the Seminoles have the best defense east (or west) of Tuscaloosa, too. Plus, when you have Jack Nicklaus' grandson (Nick O'Leary) on the roster, your chances of winning and becoming a part of the record books as champions increases tenfold in my books.

4) Ohio State--- Beat Iowa 34-24
Another week of football in Columbus and another Urban Meyer win. Nineteen straight wins is an incredible feat that shouldn't be overlooked, but it seems like it's being dismissed as a medial task by half of the college football universe. That notion is complete bullshit. Paul Finebaum, Mark May, and any other expert ESPN puts in a suit seems to condescend the Buckeyes with such disrespect, it's almost laughable. Hell, even Kirk Herbstreit doesn't defend his alma mater. I don't get it. Braxton Miller, Carlos Hyde, and the 37456897 other offensive weapons the Buckeyes have show week in and week out that they can score on any team in the country. However, the complete lack of depth in the secondary and the weak schedule are crippling this team. At this point, Ohio State should win the Big Ten title even with their less than stellar defensive play. Urban Meyer could start his career at Ohio State 25-0 and not have an opportunity to win a national title. Thanks to all the losses by SEC teams this week, Ohio State's chances of advancing to the superior bowl game in Pasadena this year now look a lot better.

5) Baylor--- Beat Iowa State 71-7
Some things are guaranteed in fall. Another detective drama will be put on the air by CBS. The St. Louis Cardinals will make a deep run in the MLB postseason. I will consume massive amounts of anything that tastes like pumpkin. Most importantly, girls will wear yoga pants, drink pumpkin spice lattés, and wear as little clothing as possible on Halloween. Now, Baylor scoring 60 points every Saturday needs to be added to the list. Baylor, or Oregon South, has clearly established themselves as the best team in the Big 12. Bryce Petty is playing like RGIII pre-ACL injury, Lache Seastrunk is fulfilling all of his self-generated hype, and a much improved defense has made this Baylor team very dangerous. The Bears have arguably the weakest strength of schedule right now in the entire country, though, so difficult tests still lie ahead on their schedule. However, these Bears look like the cream of the crop in a weak Big 12. Look for Art Briles to finally break through and reach the BCS.

6) Missouri--- Beat Florida 36-17
The preseason three horse race between Georgia, South Carolina, and Florida for the SEC East title is now a thing of the past. Missouri has beaten (actually, embarrassed) two of the three injury depleted teams above, and now, they have the Gamecocks in the Battle of the Columbias this Saturday. Maty Mauk didn't miss a beat in stepping in for the injured James Franklin, and with Connor Shaw doubtful for the game Saturday night, Missouri has to be considered heavy favorites this weekend. Plus, with Missouri's offensive and defensive lines playing with the ferocity of actual tigers, it's hard to imagine any team of mere humans beating them. Considering South Carolina's countless problems (incompetence on special teams, the lack of any offensive playmakers outside of Mike Davis, and a defense that fails to show up week in and week out), I see no reason why Missouri doesn't easily handle South Carolina this weekend and continue one of the most unexpected runs in recent college football history. If it does continue, I'm fully prepared to get #GaryPinkelForHeisman trending worldwide.

7) Stanford--- Beat UCLA 24-10
I think somebody somewhat famous once said something about how it's not about failing, but it's how we bounce back from failure that ultimately determines our legacy. Well, Stanford flew flat on their faces against Utah a couple weeks ago. Then, they came back and played actual Stanford football and beat UCLA for the third time in eleven months on their home field (For somebody who has some free time, I'd like to know how often that has occurred in college football. You'll get a S/O in next week's post if you can provide me an answer). Kevin Hogan is still one of the most underrated quarterbacks in the country, and as long as the Stanford offensive line continues to manhandle opposing teams, the Cardinal have a great chance to find their way back to the BCS.

8) Texas Tech--- Beat West Virginia
Last month I tweeted something along the lines that said Kliff Kingsbury will soon be one of the best coaches in college football. College football's GQ cover boy seems to be light years ahead of schedule, though. Leading the Red Raiders to this start, while using two different quarterbacks, and being one of the most undisciplined teams in the country just for fun, is a testament to Kingsbury's abilities. Do I actually think Texas Tech is the 8th best team in the country? No, of course not. They turn the ball over WAAAAAAAAAAY (One 'a' for each of the interceptions a Texas Tech quarterback has thrown this season) too much, and they haven't played any team with decent football ability. The Red Raiders might finish the season with 3 or 4 losses, but they're making the rankings because they're currently undefeated. And as last week proved, winning week in and week out in college football isn't a routine task.

9) Auburn--- Beat Texas A&M 45-41
Remember last year when Auburn didn't win a single SEC game? Yep, that actually happened. A team two years removed from winning a National Championship failed to win a single conference game. Now, Gus Malzahn has the Tigers playing the best football in the state of Alabama... Just kidding. In any other state, that might be true because Nick Marshall is doing some special things under center. Last week, Auburn out Johnny Footballed Texas A&M (Speaking of which, Johnny Manziel can't catch a break. His body is quickly becoming a Mr. Potato Head toy, his defense couldn't stop a powder-puff football team, his media attention has been completely stolen by Jameis Winston, and he can't party with Drake because it's football season... Poor guy). All I'm saying is the Iron Bowl at the end of November is suddenly becoming a very intriguing football game. Alabama state police better get Harvey Updyke (Actually, every single one of Alabama's psychotic fans) under 24/7 surveillance because if the Tigers win this year, he might attempt to kill something a little more serious than a tree.

10) Clemson--- Lost to Florida State 51-14
Clemsoning: The act of choking on a national stage when your football team is finally being talked about for it's return to prominence... Yep, classic Clemsoning there, Clemson. The number of national title talks in Clemson, SC this week (Zero) have matched the number of intelligent class discussions in town this week (Zero). Clemson may very well run the table the rest of the way, though, so that's why they still hold on to a position in the Tenacious Ten.

(Three tigers are in the Tenacious Ten this week. I'm not trying to discriminate against other animal teams. It just happens to be a good fall for ferocious beasts of the jungle. Plus we have some Bears, too. If there were some damn lions playing decent football, this would be a really cool and really Wizard of Oz edition of the Tenacious Ten)

Next Team Up: Who the Hell Knows
Miami? LSU? Texas A&M? UCF? Virginia Tech? Miami (OH)? Fresno State? Northern Illinois? Southern Miss? DeVry? The University of Phoenix Online? Really, every team outside of the top six has glaring weaknesses and just about zero chance of winning a national championship at this point. I didn't know who to put in slots 7-10. I just drew teams out of a hat and/or asked friends around campus about who they thought was a decent college football team. The general consensus: Nobody has any clue. For the first time in my life, I might have a better understanding of the WNBA than the NCAA. And I don't like that at all.

J. Nave

(P.S. That section about Missouri might be an attempt to jinx the Tigers and a plea for my Gamecocks to show up and play ACTUAL FOOTBALL...... Or it might be completely serious. Come talk to me Sunday morning)

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Tenacious Ten--- Week 2

Another week of college football is in the books, and some changes to the Tenacious Ten are definitely necessary after this past weekend's games, mainly because Georgia gave South Carolina a great lesson in "Payback's a Bitch 101". In non Tenacious Ten news though, the other USC lost to Washington State in a game that featured less excitement than a ten year old girl soccer league, Michigan beat Notre Dame in the "What Team Do I Hate More Bowl?", and BYU proved that Mormons can run for more than 500 yards against Texas without the help of caffeine, cocaine, or performance enhancing drugs. Let's get to this week's Tenacious Ten.

1. Alabama--- Bye week
I wrote a few months back that Nick Saban might actually be the devil. Well, if he's not the devil, than he obviously sold his soul to the devil because there's no other explanation for why Alabama got a bye week before "The Game of the Century" (This Game of the Century thing really needs to stop. By my count, this is about the 24th game of the century and we're only 13 years in to the century). Saban and his right hand man, defensive coordinator Kirby Smart, have had this game circled on their schedule ever since Johnny Football came into Tuscaloosa and beat the Crimson Tide last year, and it will be interesting to see what kind of schemes they have drawn up to stop him. Smart may've also sold his soul to the devil this week to gain inside information on how to stop Johnny Football 2.0. In terms of Alabama's players over the bye week, the only notable news was AJ McCarron had sex with Katherine Webb a few times (Sorry I messed up that reference last week. But in all honesty, who has time for editing. That isn't important...)

2. Oregon--- Beat Virginia 59-10
I almost considered dropping Oregon from the two spot because they didn't score 60 points last week. But then I remembered they played Virginia, a fairly decent ACC football team, and beat them in Charlottesville by 49 points. That's pretty damn impressive. Thomas Jefferson may've built the University of Virginia, but Marcus Mariota may be the most impressive person to walk on that campus now. He is taking huge strides in his second year at the position, and with how bad defenses are in the Pac-12, he is going to put up Heisman caliber numbers all year. Not to be overlooked is Oregon's defense, who for the second week in a row, played great. The Ducks don't have many tests on their schedule so look for their torrid offensive pace only to improve as the year goes on.

3. Ohio State--- Beat San Diego State 42-7
Yeah, I know Braxton Miller got injured and could have lingering knee issues. Yeah, I know San Diego State lost to Eastern Illinois by 21 points two weeks ago. However, I also know that Kenny Guiton is the best damn backup quarterback in the land. The Ohio State offense doesn't skip a beat when he comes into the game. He's a folk legend in Columbus thanks to the performance against Purdue last year, but when you break down the highlights from last Saturday, you can tell Guiton could be the starter at almost every other school in the country. Plus, with all the weapons around him in Urban Meyer's offense, you could run a completely inept quarterback (I don't know, someone like Mark Sanchez... Oh wait a minute, let's not get too unrealistic here. Okay, Brandon Weeden... Never mind, scratch that too. Blaine Gabbert... Never mind, he may be the worst player to ever play the position) and put up a lot of points. A road trip to Cal will be a slightly more difficult test for Ohio State, but even with Kenny Guiton under center, it should still be an Easy A.

4. Clemson--- Beat South Carolina State 52-13
After having a brutal game against Georgia to start the season, Clemson took it back a couple notches and played a school that I didn't know actually existed until last Saturday. Most impressively, Clemson didn't suffer any big game hangover at all, as they asserted their dominance right from the get go. Tajh Boyd would be getting a lot more press if it wasn't for Teddy Bridgewater, Johnny Manziel, etc., but he shouldn't be forgotten in the elite quarterback discussion. As long as Clemson doesn't take their foot off the gas pedal (Hold on, grab the wall... Crap, let's get back to sports here before we go too far down that path) like they have in years past (Hello NC State, Maryland, Duke, etc.) they should stay unscathed up until their test against Florida State.

5. Texas A&M--- Beat Sam Houston State 65-28
Johnny Football is proving this year he is more Johnny Quarterback than Johnny Athlete. The first two games, Manziel's proven he can be much more of a traditional spread quarterback, rather than the hectic Chinese fire drill he was too often last year. However, all the marbles in the SEC West are going to be on the line this Saturday in College Station. Manziel has been really laid back about the stakes of the game, and for the sake of the Aggies, he better be able to stay emotional composed. Should Saban and the Tide be able to rattle him early, the wheels may start to come off the track. That could mean turnovers. That could mean stupid penalties. Most importantly, it could mean an A&M loss. If the Aggies want to beat the Tide two years in a row, though it's going to come down to their defense. Through two games against less than stellar competition, they've given up 59 points. Alabama has just slightly a little more firepower than Rice and SHSU, so the defense is going to have to show up, or it will be a long, long day.

6. Georgia--- Beat South Carolina 41-30
Georgia may have a loss. But that loss was to Clemson and solely because of one bad snap on a field goal. Between revenge for that and the good, ole fashioned beat down the Dawgs suffered in Columbia last year, Georgia came ready to play. As someone who went to Athens last week, let me just attest to how impressive Todd Gurley really is. The man is a human wrecking ball, but luckily for all of us, he's wearing a lot more clothing than Miley Cyrus' music video. He shredded the "elite" South Carolina defense and ran through holes bigger than the gap between Michael Strahan's front teeth. Just for fun, Georgia ran Keith Marshall and some fullback who I've never heard of in my entire life right through the mile wide holes, too! On top of that, Aaron Murray showed just how inexperienced the Gamecock secondary is, especially when he threw an 85 yard touchdown pass on 3rd and 13 (Don't get me started on that play). It doesn't get any easier for Georgia, as they have LSU coming to town at the end of the month. Most importantly for Georgia, they know they control their own destiny in the SEC East now. And should the defense improve just slightly, Georgia should play themselves right back into national title contention.

7. Louisville--- Beat Eastern Kentucky 44-7
After Kentucky lost to Western Kentucky the previous week, I thought Eastern Kentucky might have had a shot at pulling off the miracle upset... Just kidding. Louisville and Teddy Bridgewater came back right where they left off and nearly held on for a shutout victory. I know I raved about him at length last week, but it should be obvious by now that Bridgewater is the real deal. He's the hottest player in the country not named Todd Gurley. He has a top five draft pick slot all lined up (Hello Cleveland! The "Tank for Bridgewater" shirt is already being sent to the stores). However, if Bridgewater wants to gain legendary status and win a national title, he's going to have to keep the spectacular play up. If the first two weeks have shown me anything, it's that many teams, especially outside of the SEC, have the potential to run the table. The Cards are going to have to do that, and do it very impressively, should they want to go to Pasadena this January. Louisville basically plays an FCS team in the Kentucky Wildcats this week, so look for another huge week from Teddy B. and another huge margin of victory for Louisville (Look on the bright side, Kentucky fans. This loss won't be nearly as difficult to deal with as the one to Robert Morris).

8. Stanford--- Beat San Jose State 34-13
I'm not going to lie. I didn't watch a single play, a single highlight, or see a single statistic from this game. Stanford is probably being unfairly penalized by me again, but I blame their west coast location and the lack of me having the Pac-12 network in my dorm for this consecutive drop in the Tenacious Ten. It is NOT laziness on my own personal part to look information up about the Cardinal. Once they actually start playing some national televised games, though, I promise I'll start give David Shaw and his team some more credit. But for right now, let's just move on. If anyone in Palo Alto, California or a Stanford fan is reading this, feel free to complain. But on the other hand, congrats on stumbling upon this page. That must mean my professional, amateur blogging career is finally getting off of the ground.

9. LSU--- Beat UAB 56-17
While LSU did look impressive for the second week in a row, something with them doesn't sit right with me. I guess I just personally think Texas A&M and Alabama are superior teams. LSU's standing didn't improve this week when the Sports Illustrated report about Oklahoma State named Tigers' coach Les Miles. If the man wasn't facing enough scrutiny already for allowing a democracy to govern suspensions on his football team, trying to endure one of the most daunting schedules in college football, and facing issues with his cow-like diet, LSU might be up a couple spots. Unfortunately, all aforementioned problems are serious issues down in Baton Rouge. LSU will gain a leg up on one of their western division competitors after this weekend, but tough times lie ahead for Tigers.

10. Florida State--- Bye
After Famous Jameis Winston made one of the best college football debuts of all time, he got to take a week off and let all the attention and headlines digest. For a player with so much hype, it was huge for him to have a week to let it all sink in, so he can get on with the rest of his career. Expectations are going to be high for the Seminoles the rest of the year, and just like Clemson, they aren't going to have too many challenges leading up until that important matchup. The Seminole defense seems to be solid once again, too, which is a characteristic many top teams lack this year. Time will only tell whether or not this is the year where Florida State returns to the highest of echelons in the college football world.

Next team up: Michigan--- Beat Notre Dame 41-30
Let's be honest, I hate Michigan. I think Brady Hoke is a bag of goo who eats at Golden Corral and Asian Star Buffet way too often. I think he is also one of the most ignorant people I've ever heard speak. The real reason I want to talk about Michigan, however, is the interview between Kirk Herbstreit/Eminem/Brent Musburger. If you haven't already watched the most awkward thing to ever air on broadcast television, go ahead and look that gem up. Why on Earth they didn't cut to commercial sometime during that debacle is beyond my understanding. Beyond all that ridiculousness though, it should be noted that for the first time in awhile Devin Gardner gives Michigan a legitimate quarterback. Coupled with the unimpressive play of Nebraska and other Legend division powers, the dream B1G Championship matchup between Michigan and Ohio State might finally become a reality.

J. Nave

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

The Tenacious Ten--- Week 1

After enduring the rigors of the first couple weeks of college, I've decided to return to the blogosphere. Sure, the time spent typing this could probably be spent for wisely, but where's the fun in that? Plus, the first weekend of college football is in the books, and I believe that's a cause for celebration and reflection, also known as some opinions and thoughts, which I think should be more widely adopted than Mark May's or any other biased former player ESPN puts in a suit.  

I've hypothesized the best way to entertain my loyal fan base, yet not take up too much of my precious free time, is to give my top ten teams after each week of play. Since I'm such a creative person, I've opted for the title of  "The Tenacious Ten" (Top ten is too cliché, power rankings is way over used, and tenacious is just fun to say... You earn bonus points if you just said tenacious when I said it was fun to say. Plus, the alliteration would make my English teachers very happy). Some weeks The Tenacious Ten might look a lot like the AP poll (which it does this week, but I swear on my left nut I started typing this before it was released) and others it may look like I've never watched football before. But after all, it is my blog, and if you disagree, start typing your own damn thoughts on the Internet. It's really not that hard.

1. Alabama--- Beat Virginia Tech 35-10
I know. Alabama didn't look very impressive. They barely gained 200 yards of total offense. AJ McCarron and TJ Yeldon were getting no help from their depleted offensive line. Christion Jones was single handedly responsible for 21 of their points. The thing is they still won by 25 points over a "Power Five" conference team. Tuscaloosa is still the undisputed Playboy Mansion of the college football world, and it's not going to be easy to gain entrance and compete with the Tide. Saban's bunch is not unbeatable, but with a bye week to prepare for the Battle in College Station, they will have plenty of time to improve some glaring weaknesses and take a monumental step towards the three-peat.

2. Oregon--- Beat Nicholls State 66-3
Gone is Chip Kelly, but the fastest offense in college football is still humming right along. Marcus Mariota, a Heisman candidate who backed it up in week one, looks like a much improved passer, and he displayed much more swagger as a play caller. De'Anthony Thomas looks ready to be a featured back in Eugene, and I'm not sure there's a defensive back in the country who can tackle him in the open field. The defense, always a weakness for the Ducks, also seems to be consistently improving, too. The only question is will new coach Mark Helfrich be as analytical as Kelly once the schedule gets tougher. He's going to have to because the Ducks are going to face much tougher challenges than Nicholls State in the weeks a head.

3. Ohio State--- Beat Buffalo 40-20
The first ten minutes for the Buckeyes made them look like definite National Championship contenders. They looked like they could beat Alabama by four touchdowns. They looked like they could've beaten the Cleveland Browns and Jacksonville Jaguars by at least double digit margin. However, the remaining fifty minutes? Not so much. Granted they were missing some starters in the secondary, but the Bucks have some weaknesses with depth at the position and need to find help ASAP. The offense is going to score points. In fact, as Kirk Herbstriet predicted, they could easily score 40 or more a game. As the underclassmen on the defensive line continue to mature and as the cavalry returns on the backend, there should be some noticeable improvement on that side of the ball.

4. Clemson--- Beat Georgia 38-35
I hate writing this, but Clemson is for real. Tajh Boyd may look like a fatass, but he can throw a football. Sammy Watkins may be a pothead, but he can flat out run. Dabo Swinney may be an uneducated redneck, but he has finally proved he can win the big games. The defense has some questions, but like Ohio State and Oregon, they should be able to make up for any weaknesses. The biggest challenge for Clemson, though is going to be Clemson. In fact, "Clemsoning", AKA "Michiganing", AKA choking, is such a real thing it's prominent on Urban Dictionary. Unfortunately, this team may be mature enough to prevent a possible letdown once ACC play. The showdown with Florida State in October  

5. South Carolina---Beat North Carolina 27-10
Yes, Jadeveon Clowney didn't do anything. Yes, he's out of shape. Yes, they need to develop more offensive weapons. However, as someone at the game in the 105 DEGREE HEAT INDEX can attest to, Clowney's conditioning shouldn't be such a big deal (Also, dear Jesse Palmer. If you're going to critique the man so much, why don't you say it to his face? I'm sure it won't go over too badly for you). Either way, the defense managed to limit a very good offense to ten points and proved it's more than a one man wrecking crew. Mike Davis looks ready for a breakout season. Connor Shaw and Dylan Thompson both proved they are more than capable quarterbacks once again. A big test at Georgia this week should provide for a great game, but as the past few years have proven, it's not necessarily going to decide the SEC East. Look for a big game for Clowney, though, as he tries to bounce back from a rather underwhelming start.

T6. Texas A&M--- Beat Rice 52-31
You may not like JFF, but you have to respect the man's accomplishments: Heisman trophy; Putting the Aggie football program back on the map; Running an under-the-table autograph scheme with thousands of dollars; Making the NCAA look like the fraud it is and being the catalyst that will likely lead to its demise. All of that from a current college sophomore and twenty year old? That's impressive no matter your opinion on whether he's guilty or not. He proved against Rice he is going to have another fantastic year, but A&M's biggest problem is going to be defense. They were missing half of their starters, but play like that will lead to total decimation at the hands of Alabama, LSU, etc. Also, if Johnny's "I am Sasha Fierce" diva side keeps flashing from time to time, it could be just another unnecessary obstacle Kevin Sumlin has to deal with.

T6. Stanford--- Bye
The Cardinal didn't play, so they fell a few spots, which I'll admit isn't very fair. Here's a prediction though that'll show just how good I expect Stanford to be this year: Kevin Hogan will be a Heisman finalist and an eventual top 10 pick in the draft a few years from now. The man embodies all of the qualities of Andrew Luck, but he's not quite nearly as nerdy as the graduated, architecture major. Stanford's defense will be the stalwart again, and David Shaw has proven he can coach just as well as former coach John Harbaugh. Granted they haven't played a single down yet, but I expect big things in Palo Alto this fall.

8. Louisville--- Beat Ohio 49-7
Teddy Bridgewater is the BEST player in college football, and if you watched the game on ESPN this past Sunday, you'd know color commentator Matt Millen would agree (That was the creepiest TV obsession I've heard since the whole Brent Musburger-Kate Upton incident). Anyways, you did read that last sentence right. The BEST player in college football. In fact, I wouldn't hesitate to draft him over Jadeveon Clowney if I was an NFL executive (Good thing I'm not. That pick would probably not be too popular for many people and organizations). Ohio is a top tier team in the MAC, but they got embarrassed by the Cardinals. Charlie Strong is proving he can be an elite coach game by game, and the tenacity displayed by him is matched, if not exceeded, by the team. Unfortunately for Louisville, they're going to have to go undefeated to make the BCS Championship (Louisville should go undefeated more than any team in the country in my opinion), and even then, that might not be enough.

9. LSU--- Beat TCU 37-27
In the other marquee game of the weekend, LSU showed that they have the potential to challenge and dethrone Bama in the SEC West. Zach Mettenberger, whose ability to play football used to be as erratic and unpredictable as a game of Russian roulette, has suddenly developed into an effective game manager who can make plays with his arm. Cam Cameron (His parents must've hated him. And if they didn't then they deserve the award for worst parents of the year) looks to have been a great addition to the staff, as I can't remember a game where LSU looked as potent on offensive as they did Saturday night. They have a tough scheduled, but Les Miles' team is going to be tough to beat.

10. Georgia--- Lost to Clemson 38-35
I don't care if they lost Saturday. Any team with Aaron Murray, Todd Gurley, and Keith Marshall on the roster is a top ten team. The questions about their defense proved to have merit to them, as Clemson ran up and down the field with very little resistance. It's obvious the football gods don't like Georgia right now either, as their best wide receiver, Malcolm Mitchell, is done for the season, and they have to regroup for the other top ten team in the state of South Carolina. Georgia's going to have to show up, and with the motivation from last week's defeat and last year's embarrassment in Columbia, they should. Whether that'll be enough to power them to win, though remains to be seen.

Next team up: Florida State--- Beat Pittsburgh 41-13
There was a ton of hype living up to the collegiate debut of Jameis Winston, and the man didn't disappoint. First off, we have to focus on the best part about Jameis: His name. Not Jamison, not James, not Jake, but Jameis. Kudos to whoever came up with that nickname, and double kudos for whoever thought of the slogan "Famous Jameis" first (His parents and friends must've loved him unlike the very poorly named Cam Cameron). The Seminoles finally made their return to the BCS last year, and with Jameis at the helm, they should have a great chance of making it back this year. Here's hoping Famous Jameis keeps his stellar play up, so the showdown with Clemson in mid October can be everything it looks like it will be as of right now.

J. Nave 

Monday, August 5, 2013

Why the Ohio State Buckeyes Will Go Undefeated (Again)

Well, a few weeks ago I promised a weekly blog update for the rest of the summer. However, being a teenager and it being the summer, it seems my work ethic completely disappeared for a few weeks. In an attempt to prepare myself for the upcoming college workload, and to ensure my fingers will be capable of typing some lengthy papers the next four years, I decided to make my long awaited return.

I must admit that it feels great typing this too. Perhaps it's because I'm typing on a laptop for a change. That means I'm only a coffee shop away from being a professional amateur blogger! More than likely though, it's because of the fact that we are now under four weeks from the start of the college football season. These last few weeks have not been too kind to the sporting world, as there's been far too much coverage on when Alex Rodriguez opens a medicine cabinet or when Johnny Manziel visits his neighborhood Applebee's. In addition, a University of Florida linebacker got arrested for barking at a police dog, and Carlos Hyde starred in the most disputed video since the last Bigfoot sighting. If that's not bad enough, lawsuits are tearing apart the fabric of the NCAA, and as a result, EA Sports will not continue making college football video games (Let's have a moment of silence for my favorite video game series of all time... Thank you). A return to the focus on the actual games is going to be much welcomed by all college football fans, but especially the avid fanbase that supports the Ohio State Buckeyes. Why? Because Buckeye Nation is going to have the chance to dethrone the SEC in Pasadena, California.

Last year, THE Ohio State University's football team went undefeated. It was the sixth time the Buckeyes were able to accomplish the feat. They were also the only FBS team to finish the season undefeated, after the dismantling of the luckiest football team of all time (Notre Dame) in the title game. Normally, going undefeated in consecutive seasons is a statistical impossibility in any sport, especially major college football. In fact, there's actually a better chance of being stuck by lighting, winning the lottery, and getting a hole in one at the same time than going undefeated in consecutive seasons in the college football (Look it up...). However, a weak schedule, a more talented team, and a tumultuous offseason have laid the groundwork for the Buckeyes to perform the improbable feat.

At first glance, it's hard to tell whether Ohio State plays more Big Ten or more high school JV teams this year. The nonconference opponents, for the second year in a row, lack a marquee game. Buffalo is the annual, lowly MAC school that will benefit from a generous paycheck. San Diego State, who may be the best of the four opponents, could compete like UCF did last year, but will ultimately be overmatched. Cal could normally provide for an interesting matchup, but with so many questions at the quarterback competition, it is hard to see them putting up much of a fight. Finally, Florida A&M is known more for their marching band than their football team, so I don't think much more needs to be said. With Carlos Hyde and possibly Bradley Roby's suspensions being served during this stretch, Urban Meyer will be able to figure out the depth chart issues that will need resolved. Among these is the running back position, where Ohio State has about a half dozen capable players looking to fill Hyde's shoes. Look out for Dontre Wilson, who has run around the world six times during your reading of this article. As for Big Ten play, the Bucks draw Wisconsin and Penn State at home. These two schools seem to be the only capable schools in the Leaders division, but the Badgers should drop off a little while adjusting to Bret Bielema's departure. Ohio State will unfortunately have to travel to the hellhole that is Ann Arbor to face the Wolverines, but with Grant Reed (The kid who named his cancer Michigan... And then beat it) in attendance, the Bucks will continue their domination of that school up north. The toughest test on Ohio State's schedule? The Northwestern Wildcats. A road night game, against a team on the rise, who also features one of the most dynamic players in the country, spells only trouble for the Bucks, especially when you consider they'll face Wisconsin the week before. (Kain Colter is the aforementioned player. The man plays three positions. He will also be a dark horse Heisman candidate should Northwestern have the season many experts are predicting). Oh, and also, there's the matter of the game at Purdue. You know, the team the Buckeyes need a miraculous comeback led by a backup quarterback to win last year (Long live Kenny Guiton!). The Boilermakers are like Saturday Night Live skits most season. Normally, they are the definition of mediocrity, but every once in a while, they deliver something fantastic. Unfortunately for the Bucks, the past few years they've faced Purdue during some of their best games of the year.

The Bucks may've lost some senior leadership on the defensive side of the ball, but the offense is set to put up ridiculous numbers this year. Braxton Miller is set to have a Jennifer Lawrence type of breakout this year (Yeah people know about him already, but it's going to payoff in some hardware this year is what I was going for in that analogy). The number of playmakers he has at his disposal, being counted by LeBron James, is not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven, not eight...  The wide receiver position is at its best depth in years with playmakers like Devin Smith and Philly Brown. Tight ends Nick Vannett and Jeff Heuerman have an Aaron Hernandez type versatility to them, except it's limited to only his on the field attributes rather than the more "creative" and criminal off the field ones. Combine that with the running backs mentioned before and the return of Jordan Hall, or Percy Harvin Part II, and you've got an offense that can be the best in the country. Defensively, the Bucks lost the heart and soul in John Simon. However, with the return of Bradley Roby and Ryan Shazier, the defense should be okay. Shazier was named conference preseason defensive player of the year, and if all goes according to plan, he could become as heralded as James Laurinaitis and AJ Hawk.

Most importantly though, I believe the biggest factor in Ohio State going undefeated again is going to be the offseason troubles. The old adage of taking one step backwards to take two steps forward is going to be illustrated perfectly in Columbus because Urban Meyer is like Frank Underwood (House of Cards reference there. Not sure how many people got it, but if you don't watch that show, next time you turn on Netflix, which will probably be tonight, go ahead and give it a chance. It was nominated for an Emmy for nothing). He encounters a problem, analyzes the issue, and then provides the solution that will make a majority of people happy and earn him some great benefits down the line. Last year, as featured in the excellent ESPN Training Days series, he publicly doubted the skill of the team and used the bowl ban as key motivating factors in his first season. These moves led to the fruition of the excellent leadership skills, as the senior class felt a need to rise to the occasion. This year, look for pride to be one of the mantras of the team. Over the past few weeks, Buckeye football players have only made the news in negative ways. However, once Meyer gets control of his troops, he will make them realize they have an obligation to live up to the expectations set by the fans/media and the tougher obligations set by himself. Off the field incidents damage any legacy the Bucks make on it, and once this message is imprinted in the players heads, look for better play on the field.

It's definitely not going to be easy for the Buckeyes to go 13-0 this year (The thirteenth game will be the Big Ten Championship where they would probably face either Michigan, Northwestern, or Nebraska). Last year, Notre Dame got luckier than an Irishman on St. Patrick's Day to end up finishing with an unscathed regular season. For the Bucks to do it again, they will need the occasional break or call to go their way. However, simply due to the fact that they are clearly the best team in the Big Ten, I see Pasadena being filled with scarlet and gray on January 7th (Who they'll play? That'll come next week). Hell, even if they lose one game the Buckeyes will just end up in Pasadena about a week earlier for the Rose Bowl. Either way, it is going to be a  very fun fall in old Columbus town.

J. Nave

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