The Quest for 35-0 (Part Two of Three)

The quest for 35-0 is still alive!........... Just kidding. Thanks to missing the first three bowl games, my quest for a perfect slate of bowl picks was short lived. Currently, I'm 3-5, which is really embarrassing and really pathetic. However, just like any gambling addict and self-declared football genius would, I'm going to keep picking the games.  I have a good attitude still, though. The first few bowl games are like the preseason, anyways. They're between a bunch of teams that very few people have seen play, and they mainly serve as advertisements for companies that very few people have ever heard of (Hello, Beef O'Brady's and Royal Purple). However, the bowl picks this time around actually feature some teams I've heard of and seen play this year. That's why I'm very confident I'm going to go undefeated with part two of my picks (Actually, I"ll be honest with you. I probably won't get them all. Here's hoping to only missing one or two, though... Actually, I'll be lucky to get two right with my luck right now. If I get them all, though, then somebody get Mark May on the phone at ESPN, so you can tell him he's being replaced.) Let's go write some haikus!

11) Fight Hunger Bowl: Washington over BYU

Who is Brigham Young?

Price and Sankey can sure play

Huskies beat Mormons

12) New Era Pinstripe Bowl: Notre Dame over Rutgers

Bowl game in the Bronx

Do the players get free hats?

Rutgers might get killed

13) Belk Bowl: Cincinnati over North Carolina

Was torn with my pick

Bearcats won this bowl last year,

giving them slight edge

14) Russell Athletic Bowl: Louisville over Miami (FL)

Bridgewater's last game?

Both teams are overrated

Cardinals soar higher

15) Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl: Kansas State over Michigan

Gardener injured?

Hoke just wants to eat free wings!

Wildcats by three

16) Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl: Navy over Middle Tennessee State

What's a Blue Raider?

Midshipmen like to run and run

 Helicopters rule!

17) Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl: Georgia Tech over Ole Miss

Inconsistent teams

Yellow Jackets use option

Ole Miss is confused

18) Valero Alamo Bowl: Oregon over Texas

Mack Brown's farewell game

Do 'Horns send him out happy?

Ducks say no. Win big.

19) National University Holiday Bowl: Arizona State over Texas Tech

Kingsbury's team scores

Sun Devils score a lot more

Lots of passes thrown

20) Advocare V100 Bowl: Arizona over Boston College

Two great running backs.

Williams might outrush Carey,

but Cats get the win

21) Hyundai Sun Bowl: UCLA over Virginia Tech

LA team in Sun

Too good to be true for me

Bruins smash Hokies

22) AutoZone Liberty Bowl: Mississippi State over Rice

Rice won title game

But in a bad conference

SEC team wins

23) Chick-Fil-A Bowl: Texas A&M over Duke

Manziel's farewell game?

This isn't Duke basketball?

Aggies win chicken

J. Nave

Record so far: 3-5 (through games on December 26th)

The Quest for 35-0 (Part One of Three)

Folks, we are at the beginning of the end of the college football season: Bowl season. Without a doubt the most exciting football season of my lifetime, it's going to be tough to see it end. However, there are still 35 more games to be played before the most dreaded hiatus in all of sports. In honor of bowl season, I've decided to predict every bowl game. Instead of lengthy analysis that would lead to "too long, didn't read" status, I've opted to write a haiku for every single bowl game. For those of you unfamiliar with this form of Japanese poetry, go look it up on Wikipedia because I'm not wasting my time to define it. Let's begin our quest for picking all 35 games correctly with the first ten. (My poetry takes time to craft. It is an art after all. Also, I procrastinated and this is all I could get done before the first bowl game started).

1. Gildan New Mexico Bowl: Washington State over Colorado State

The first of many

Rams vs. Cougars? How wild!

Cougars win shootout.

2. Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl: Fresno State over USC

Carr is a sure bet

Southern Cal prefers roulette

Go with the sure thing

3. Famous Idaho Potato Bowl: Buffalo over San Diego State

The bowl on blue turf

Both lost to Ohio State

Bulls win potatoes

4. R+L Carries New Orleans Bowl : UL-Lafayette over Tulane

Pelican State War?

I like the Ragin' Cajuns

Name is fun to say

5. Beef O' Brady's Bowl St. Petersburg: East Carolina over Ohio

Aargh! the Pirates say

Meow! the Bobcats mumble

Jack Sparrow's team wins

6. Hawaii Bowl: Oregon State over Boise State

Peterson left team

Christmas in Hawaii? Fun!

Beavs win narrowly

7. Little Caesars Pizza Bowl: Bowling Green State over Pittsburgh

Falcons beat Panthers

MAC Champs seem to like Detroit

Are seats five dollars?

8. San Diego Country Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl: Northern Illinois over Utah State

Man! That's a mouthful

Jordan Lynch is hard to stop

His team wins the plants

9. Military Bowl: Marshall over Maryland

Don't have much to say...

Both teams are unknowns to me...

Team with movie wins

10. Texas Bowl: Minnesota over Syracuse

Kill's guys come to play

Would make for good basketball

Gophers are damn cute!

Incoherent Rambling About Bowl Games--- An Ode to Finals Week

It's Finals Week here at the University of South Carolina. In honor of my difficult exams, my dedicated studying habits, and the last week of my first semester, I have decided to spend the next amount of my procrastination time talking to my loyal readers. Last time I graced you all with my presence, we talked about college basketball, and I made some horrible predictions about what teams will make the Final Four. But you know what, it's still December, so those teams have time to figure it out before March. We're gonna go back to football this week because the college football season got a helluva lot more entertaining over the past few weeks. Gus Malzahn became the second coach in the state of Alabama to sell his soul to the devil for some satanic magic, and he even beat the devil himself during the process. Thanks to OHverrated State getting exposed at the hands of Michigan State, Auburn now finds themselves in the BCS championship, too. Awaiting the Tigers in Pasadena will be Florida State and Jameis Winston, the latest person to benefit from the stellar, Floridian legal system, who should be toting a Heisman trophy once January 6th rolls around. What should you watch for in bowl season other than this classic? Here are some games you won't wanna miss (Predictions coming next week!)

1) The "That's a Bowl Game" Game?!?!?!?! UNLV vs. North Texas--- Heart of Dallas Bowl 1/1
The fact that there are 35 bowl games is extremely unnecessary in my opinion. Why, you ask? No need to look farther than this heralded match-up between the Rebels and the Mean Green. If there wasn't a team from Texas in the bowl, the attendance would rival your local WNBA game. Now, it might be able to eclipse the attendance at your average WWE! Monday Night Raw show. Either way, I will not be tuning into watch this game. And neither should you, unless you have a relative playing for either one of these teams... Actually, you know what... You probably still shouldn't watch it.

2) The Irony Bowl: Duke vs. Texas A&M--- Chick-Fil-A Bowl 12/31
Maybe it's just me, but I find it extremely ironic that Mr. Johnny Football's last college football game will be sponsored by one of the most Christian companies in the United States, if not the world. Mr. Manziel has lived his life according to the Ten Commandments, has been a perfect disciple for Christ throughout his college career, and his regular church attendance is now being rewarded with a match-up against Duke. Unless Mike Krzyzewski and the 2012 USA Olympic Basketball team shows up on the sidelines, the Blue Devils have zero chance to win this game. Also, I find it extremely ironic a team nicknamed 'Devils' is in the Chick-Fil-A Bowl. It's pretty obvious that Dan T. Carthy had absolutely nothing to do with picking the teams that would be playing in his game. 

3) The Which Clemson Tiger Will Urban Meyer Punch Bowl? Ohio State vs. Clemson--- Orange Bowl 1/3

Last time Ohio State and Clemson played in a game, Woody Hayes threw a mean right hand at a Clemson player and got himself fired. If Marcus Hall or Dontre Wilson decides to do the same thing to Dabo Swinney, I won't complain one bit. This game matches two teams that were embarrassed in their last outings. Clemson got in the Christmas spirit early by committing six turnovers in their ugly loss to my Gamecocks, while Ohio State got outcoached and outplayed by Michigan State. The question is what team decides to show up in Miami. The Buckeyes had no plans to be in Miami, and the Tigers might not be able to navigate themselves around such a large city and not show up on time to the game. Here's hoping OHverrated State doesn't show up, and the team that won 24 straight games beats Clemson both on the football field and in an encore sideline fight.

4) The Best Bowl Game This Year Bowl: Michigan State vs. Stanford--- Rose Bowl 1/1
If you only watch one bowl game this year, make it this one. First off, both teams will run the ball about 50 times each, so it should be over in a little over two hours. Secondly, it should be one of the most competitive bowl games. Finally, Brent Musburger will be on the call, and you never know what attractive girlfriend he may spot in the crowd this year. The first team to get to 14 should be in good position to win this game. 

5) The What Will Clowney Do This Year Bowl? Wisconsin vs. South Carolina--- Capital One Bowl 1/1
I was going to link a video of the hit, but let's face it: If you're reading this you've seen it, and you're probably tired of seeing it. Instead, I'd like to talk about the most underrated football player of the 21st century: Mr. Connor Shaw. The man has 26 touchdowns and ONE interception. The man came off the bench to lead a 17 point comeback in ONE quarter against Missouri AT Missouri. The man has the most wins of any South Carolina quarterback of all time. The man eats bowls of nails for breakfast... without any milk. The man has been an absolute delight to watch play this year, and you won't wanna miss his final college game. Plus, Wisconsin matches up pretty well with the Gamecocks, so it should be a good game. 

Well, I think that's enough procrastination for now. Next week, I'll pick every bowl game. However, I have to get back to studying. And by studying I mean, go workout, watch some Netflix, obsessively check Twitter, eat, take a nap, listen to music, text some people, go to the bathroom, shower, eat some more, and watch some more Netflix. #College

J. Nave